|Reviews for Six Shots|
| Dr. Self Destruct chapter 1 . 6/15/2012
Technique: I like how you went and used the second-person POV because I don't encounter that very often, and I think you did a good job pulling it off. However, I would have liked seeing more of it, because it seems about halfway through it's not really used anymore, so it didn't feel too consistent.
Writing: I like how you describe things and don't overload the reader with details, instead allowing them to use their imagination as well to fill in the gaps you leave. The way you address each shot was very well done and I thought they were each described differently from the rest - and I enjoyed seeing how they got progressively easier to deal with up until the fifth shot.
[I would be free and clear and there would be nothing else stopping me. Nothing else standing between me and whatever lies after. No longer a little girl, I would -]
I found it a little strange how you were using 'will' and then went to using 'would.' In order to stay consistent with the tenses, I think replacing 'would' with 'will' makes more sense.
Ending: I liked the ending and how you kinda leave it open to interpretation. What exactly are these 'shots'? And since you reference a parent in the beginning, it makes the reader wonder if these shots are truly harmful to the reader, and what parent would condone this type of behavior. I thought the last line was very effective and left quite an impact.
Enjoyment: I think I enjoyed the first half of this more than the second half. By the end I was terribly confused, because I wasn't sure if these really were bullets the narrator was talking about or shots of alcohol. If you want to leave that more a mystery that's entirely your decision, but I personally would have liked a little more closure. I think if you expanded on the ending more you could do so easily - but that's only if you want to. I really did love how you addressed everything else, though. And it's hard for me to really digest this kinda thing since I love things that are open to interpretation, but at the same time I want to know what's really going on. Quite the paradox within me. xD
| professional griefer chapter 1 . 6/15/2012
This was a bit confusing, though that was probably the point. At first I thought you were talking about alcohol, but then you mentioned the gun. I don't know if this is what you were going for, but you might want to make it clearer.
I liked your description of how each shot affected your character.
For something so short, this was really good, intriguing and a bit poetic, strangely.
I like the narrative tone, it feels a bit resigned to what's going to happen, like they almost know there's going to be a seventh and that they can't take it.