Reviews for Descent
Whirlymerle chapter 1 . 6/15/2012
Hi from the RG!

[she was never short distractions.] I think this should be "never short of distractions"

[but as she lita third cigarette] lit a

[heat up a soup and carr it] carry it?

I like the tone that you wrote this in. It was melancholy without going overboard, which I thought was an excellent reflection of your main character. Your writing is sophisticated and overall, this made for a very enjoyable read.

I'm guessing that your protagonist is some sort of hired assassin? I like this opening scene because it's very chilling. I can imagine how sick (maybe for your character, in a good way) it must be to look at someone you just killed on TV.

One more gratuitous like: the kitty! :D

Merle
professional griefer chapter 1 . 6/15/2012
I really like your style. It's descriptive, effective, and bleak (in a good way)

I noticed a few errors, I.e. 'she was never short distractions.'

Did you mean to say she was never short on distractions? You should look at your sentences a bit more.

It felt a bit rushed, and the ending was a bit random and felt irrelevant.

But I really liked your descriptions of her, they really felt effective and smooth.

But really, nice job.