Reviews for Deadman's Wonderland
TheodoraSzue chapter 7 . 11/27/2012
I feel so sad for Kristen... I just want to hug here. I'm kinda the same too, I can never forget my past and I always go back to thinking about it when I have too much time and think too much, but my past is no where near as bad as her's though. Please continue. I really want to know if they make it and I really love the story.
TheodoraSzue chapter 4 . 11/27/2012
Double tap. Reference from Zombieland. Definitely. But I'm too late for this guessing game, aren't I? And I envy Ashley, the Barrett is my favorite gun. I still wonder where they got the guns though.
TheodoraSzue chapter 3 . 11/27/2012
Shit. It gens better and better! I've noticed that you reference a lot of awesome bands in your stories. And isn't the title a tittle for a different manga? Ok... I really should stop reviewing every chapter I read. _
TheodoraSzue chapter 2 . 11/27/2012
Ok... That was super creepy. I knew it was High School of the Dead the previous chapter and I'm in a streak to watch or read anything that is rated horror. In fact, I was about to write a fanfic on HSOTD. It's also kinda sad that Clive has never heard of a Molotov. Ok, I should stop blabbing now.
TheodoraSzue chapter 1 . 11/27/2012
Ok, first chapter in and I already want to thank you. I want to thank you for 1) reminding how good Hollywood Undead is (I haven't listen to their songs in a while) 2) creating an emo girl (loves emos) and 3) I just know this is going to be epic. Oh yeah, the eye color being blue and brown, is that a reference from Artemis Fowl?
Ardonenher chapter 1 . 8/9/2012
High School of the Dead?
freddyburn chapter 6 . 7/14/2012
thumbs up man
freddyburn chapter 5 . 7/5/2012
Cool chapter man. Thumbs up.
FairFlower chapter 1 . 7/4/2012
I love it so far! My only problem with it is that... it's too forward, and it's hard to get a story started unless you do that, so I understand. Everything happens TOO soon, there's not enough background or lead up. Another thing I found- was/were. Just a few tips.
freddyburn chapter 4 . 6/24/2012
Like it, not hate it. The death of the President would be a perfect breaking point for some people to loose it.
UglyTurnip chapter 3 . 6/22/2012
Is the Chicago Ted Reference from Left 4 Dead? I like this and have been reading it from the start.
freddyburn chapter 3 . 6/22/2012
OK, let me start of by saying- nice background to Clive. Really like the feeling that he and his brother are close.

But (there is always one), if Clive has an Ipod and an Ipad, it begs the question- does he have a phone? If he does, why didn't he try to get in contact with his brother or his parents sooner? Also, his brother, and the group of survivors- they seem to be organised into a "zombie-death-squad" very fast. Don't get me wrong, I can see it happening- but in under 24 hours? Less even, since they had killed zombies and left their sculls on display.

One or two little mistakes- "Under the head, you could see a small bit of blonde hair." Should that be "under the cap"?

Two- When he looks at Kirsten ans said "And I've got something precious with me." Harks back to what I said earlier- why didn't he try to contact his brother/parents? Surly they should have been his first thought other than survival? Would have thought they would be more precious.

Hope you update soon. There is nothing wrong with you by the way, and I am sure you have a life. You are just dedicated to your story.
Jim Cook chapter 1 . 6/21/2012
Hi,

I really like the story but I think that it could have a better part when Clive and Kristen realize they are zombies or something like that. Having them just think of it doesnt seem like it would happen if the zombie Apocalypse was to come.

The rest of the story was really good.

Hope it helped.
freddyburn chapter 2 . 6/20/2012
Like how you have the survival instincts kicking in, thus laying the foundation for the trouble they will have finding basic essentials later. Like the names you have choosen for your characters, its original. Good idea to use "mini-antagonists" to incorporate the psychopaths of an outbreak.

Bit of advice from one zombie-fic writer to another- personally, I think it is a bit early for the psychopaths to be making an appearance.

The outbreak has just begun. People would be scared, be mean spirited, violent even. They would be focused on their own survival. But to have someone like Sarah- someone so over the top- about already? It speaks of an underlying problem that I feel someone should have at least suspected.

Also, the following: "Kristen put her mouth over her mouth." I think you mean "Kristen put a/her hand over her mouth."

Finally- character development. I am on the second chapter and I know very little about the two main characters as people, other than their age and physical description and the nagging sense that they have a smart, sarcastic sense of humour on occasion. Also, Kirsten seems to have problems.
freddyburn chapter 1 . 6/16/2012
Het Zenzak101. Can relate to the zombie obsession- I'm part way through writing a zombie fic. Overall, this chapter was good. The characters seem interesting and have good potential for development. A few little things.

One: You could have split this chapter in two different parts- say, around where Clive and Kirsten were talking and when the science class began. Then you could expanded both parts a bit. While the chapter was good, these two parts ould have been seperated and expanded on a bit.

Second: "His hair was purely blonde; the kind that would make girls would kill for." I believe you mean "His hair was pure blond; the kind that most girls would kill for."

Three: "Just then, the door opened and a student ran in, panting. He tripped on the hardwood. The one mistake he had made was to close the door behind him. Infected walked into the gym, some stopping too devour the helpless student." How did the infected get in if the boy closed the door behind him?

Adding this story to my alerts.