|Reviews for My Boyfriend Makes Me Feel Inadequate|
| Rogue Energizer Bunny chapter 8 . 8/6/2012
This is a very strange coincidence, and this chapter is freaking me out. I just learned tonight that one of my old friends almost died of second concussive syndrome, and now she has permanent brain damage. From playing soccer. And Tyler just got hit twice playing soccer.
There is a sinking feeling in my gut.
I really like this chapter. I think angst is your thing or something, because the emotion here's really good, and the pacing's better than it's been in the past. Ever notice how when writers write what they like, everything flows so much better?
I'm not sure about the little mini-scene in there. It doesn't seem important, other than that he gets hit in the head, so him getting hit in the head seems more important because of the proportioning. So unless you were going for second concussive syndrome (*cringe*), I'd find a way to alter the emphasis?
And I really should go back and review the chapters I creeper-stalked without reviewing. but I promised myself I'd finish a chapter tonight. Not that that's happening. Ugh.
| chibikodo chapter 8 . 8/6/2012
:( Ugh I can feel Tyler's pain- the dulling of everything around him... The way everything seems to be oh so pointless. And it makes me want to cry and hug him and say it gets better, and help is out there. :( Depression really does hurt. I hope someone will put two and two together and get Tyler help.
| Wicked witch Ayumi chapter 8 . 8/6/2012
Please continue this story! I hope Tyler will come back to Kieran, rather than the opposite, because I feel as if Kieran was doing all the work while Tyler was on the recieving end.
Anyway, great story. I'm looking forward for the update. :D
| Aletiah chapter 7 . 8/2/2012
What, they broke up? No, they can't do that! I feel so sorry for both of them, but mostly for Kieran in this chapter. Update soon!
| GreenGrass1 chapter 7 . 8/1/2012
I hope Tyler and Kieran stay together. I think they are good for each other but I understand that Tyler is going through a rough patch right now and he deals with it by clamping down.
| Rogue Energizer Bunny chapter 5 . 7/31/2012
Boop. BOOOP. Hello. I've decided to get over myself. Thinking of changing my avatar to some homemade pic that says "Hello, my name is Livia, and I'm a bitch."
I think that'd fit well.
Making out is an interesting method of conflict resolution. I could definitely see that happening, haha.
Devilled eggs? ...that's a terribly awkward party. Yeah, this is a bad situation. Teenagers and adult parties Do Not Mix. I think it plays out nicely.
I'm not a huge fan of the diction. I feel like it makes prose seem a bit condescending and flowery. Maybe a personal bias of mine.
| Yaleni chapter 7 . 7/30/2012
Ugghh.. Why why WHy did u end it there it was getting really good tbh
| seventhswan chapter 7 . 7/30/2012
((face in hands)) well. you weren't lying about the angst. MY GOD MY HEART. Tyler, why? I mean, I sort of get why, but ((sob)).
I really liked the pacing of this chapter. It felt kind of like scenes in a movie or something? Especially that opening scene with the coaches that expanded out to the next scene with the players. I was really charmed by that.
Oh, but Tyler. I'm glad Craig is worried about him (and his parents, too) because this path he's going down isn't a healthy one, poor thing. I know he probably won't get better soon (if ever?) but I'm really routing for him!
| chibikodo chapter 7 . 7/29/2012
Kieran, for all that he is older than Tyler, doesn't seem much more worldly or mature, and perhaps has forgotten how emo teenagers can be. Of course I'm hoping that Tyler's not sliding into depression. Looking forward to the next chapter.
| PalindromeIsntOne chapter 7 . 7/29/2012
Wow, hey, the emotions just stack up don't they.
That tiny bit with Craig did a lot. Also with Kieran - no! Don't just let him go! Chase him, grab him, hold him and reassure him...
I did find the lack of seeing Tyler's point of view in this chapter very effective, especially carried right through to the end and even only hearing Kieran's end of the conversation.
I guess now I sit tight and clench a pillow or something.
| PenguinHearts chapter 7 . 7/29/2012
This chapter was so great! I can't believe that Tyler would want to break up with Kieran... over a phone call! Can't wait for more! Keep writing! :DDD
| Honunjama chapter 7 . 7/29/2012
Hey, I'm glad you seem a little more up than down...I'm sorry I can't message you (it doesn't work from my phone and my webs are sporadic).
I was a little confused at first but by the end of the chapter it made sense and I think it worked well that it was all from other people's perspectives and not Tyler's, and at the end gosh my heart just went out to kieran, I feel his pain dude! And it hurts!
| Honunjama chapter 6 . 7/26/2012
Hey you:) this is good! I can truly empathise with Tyler and his impotence/ his inability to call Kieran, even though he is longing to!
"He was submarine' I love that line.
I'm looking forward to more!
| PenguinHearts chapter 6 . 7/26/2012
This chapter was great! I can't wait to see what's happening with their relationship! Keep writing! :DDDDD
P.S. : I hope you get better! 3
| GreenGrass1 chapter 6 . 7/25/2012
Sorry to hear that you're in a weird place.
This chapter is great! Neil sounds like he's going to be sort of a 'villain'? Well, he sounds menacing.