Reviews for My Boyfriend Makes Me Feel Inadequate
seventhswan chapter 6 . 7/23/2012
First off: story talk. This chapter was so, so good. I just love how realistic everything is. I remember being in high school and having one bad night ruin like, a week of my life. You just carry it around with you and feel stupid and embarrassed and hurt, and all those things turn into anger. I thought you captured that perfectly.

BUT OH NOES, Tyler! I just want to pull him out of his life for a minute and cuddle him. Poor thing! Not making captain! Oh man. :( cryfacecryface.

This was so good, friend. It made my heart hurt in the best way.

Thanks for the thanks, btw! I'm glad it got you new followers because this story deserves it! Like I've said before, I think you're writing about something that doesn't get written about enough, and you're doing it so well.

:( I hope you're feeling better! Let me know if you ever need a cheerleader!
seventhswan chapter 5 . 7/23/2012
Sorry I've taken so long to review. I moved and then went on vacation (I'm in a hotel room right now with my whole family, trying to read quietly...I'm realizing I'm a very vocal reader. all "Oh, Kieran, bb, you're such a sweetheart." and "Cry it out, Tyler, you cute thing." and also, "Moe, you can go to hell now, thanks.")

But anyway, I love this chapter. I think you captured the party scene beautifully from both sides, but especially Kieran's. I was recently in a situation where I was introducing two people I love to each other and there was a tension there because they were both from very separate parts of my life. When Kieran was talking to Mario and asked him if he thought Tyler was beautiful, I just...my heart just broke all over the place for everyone. That was the most awkward perfect thing.

Okay, I have more to say, but I'm too impatient to read the next chapter!
chibikodo chapter 6 . 7/23/2012
Tyler makes me not miss beibg a teenager- the insecurity, the lack of confidence in his own self-worth is just depressing. And I can't help but wonder how Kieran feels.
Aletiah chapter 6 . 7/23/2012
Poor Tyler :( I feel so sorry for him.
Aletiah chapter 5 . 7/23/2012
Okay, what was Moes problem? How could she be so mean? Come on, Tyler is 17 and not a little kid. How could she treat him that way? And Kieran too. How old is he? It can't be that many years between the two of them.
My other thoughts of this chapter was that Kieran's trying too much, while Tyler is trying too little. I think if they both had relaxed and just tried to enjoy themselves without preconceptions (hope that's the right word) I think the evening had went a lot better.
PalindromeIsntOne chapter 6 . 7/23/2012
I genuinely think this is probably the best chapter yet.

I love the descriptions you do in general, or just the images: 'held in a sigh, pushed it down with more sandwich.' 'Autumn had fallen like a boot to the face, sudden and intense.' I think I like this about your style of writing in general, and it flows very nicely here.

I really feel for Tyler's postponing of the phonecall, especially with his thoughts in italics, and the sort of standstill reached because of the arrangement he has with Kieran so he can control communications. Oh, my feelings!

Your description of Neil makes me wonder if he's going to have a further role, or if his sole role here in taking the position of captain from Tyler will be his only real participation to the plot, soft-sad as it already is. Also 'His ancestors were probably of the 'rape and pillage' variety.' is a rather funny description even though it's not, if you know what I mean.

The loss of Kieran for Tyler is enhanced here by the temporary loss of viewpoint switching and makes this chapter that touch more effective. I like it.
Aletiah chapter 4 . 7/22/2012
Ouch, it must hurt to step on a wasp. Actually, I have done it, but I was just a little kid so I don't remember the pain anymore. Poor Tyler. But you can tell something is not quite right with him... the way he reacted on stepping on it and that he got angry only because he didn't wore his shoes. It's like he's afraid of doing the wrong things, even if they're not wrong.
But Kieran should take it a bit easy with him too. He must realize that his boyfriend is not out yet, so he shouldn't be angry at him.
Aletiah chapter 3 . 7/22/2012
Poor boys, it's not easy for them to get together :(
Aletiah chapter 2 . 7/22/2012
I haven't been keeping up with this story, but I promise to do better :) So no one knows abou his boyfriend, not even his friend? They must be great friends since Craig knew he had to lie for him :) Will he tell him someday? Does they even know he's gay?
PenguinHearts chapter 5 . 7/20/2012
I have to say I love the little fluffy ending you put at the end of this chapter! That little bitch Moe was the perfect addition to this story! Great job! Keep writing! :DDD
GreenGrass1 chapter 5 . 7/18/2012
One of your longer chapter! This one is even better than your last one! And you are right, you are getting better at switching heads. Much smoother.

Pederasty - funny, I was reading that a few months ago.
Honunjama chapter 5 . 7/18/2012
'His breath frosted the glass in a swath from his nostrils out.' This sentence seeed a little clumsy, I think just "His breath frosted the glass" is fine.

"...like when a song so takes over your attention that you forget what you are doing, and when it ends you are surprised to find you are still you." I really like this, really good

"Here's what was going through Tyler's mind:" um this jarred me a bit, seemed to pluck me out of the story for a sec. I think you could just makes some more natural comment about Tyler thinking and then go into the thoughts.

"He couldn't examine it any further than that." I 'm not sure about the paragraph that starts with this sentence, again I think it pulls me out of the story, makes me too self conscious of being a reader maybe...

I think you do a great job of showing how it just isn't working between Tyler and Keiran's friends, I can feeel the awkwardness

Suki
Chibikodo chapter 5 . 7/17/2012
Apparently my fingers hate me and keep trying to post reviews before I want them to post

I feel bad for Tyler, baffled by Kieran, and annoyed with Moe for being a snide b-word that rhymes with itch... For no good (or apparent) reason.
Chibikodo chapter 5 . 7/17/2012
Oh Tyler...

I don't think I can even figure out what is going on in Kieran's head... But there's only one thing I can think of that would describe Moe and it isn't pretty- it rhymes with it itch and pairs well with the word sn
Chibikodo chapter 4 . 7/13/2012
Sounds like Tyler is definitely not out of the closet even to strangers. I feel bad for Kieran and I wonder how they met in the first place. I originally had this impression Kieran was at least 10 years older than Tyler and was surprised to learn that both of them weren't as old as I thought. I'll be looking forward to the next chapter.
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