Reviews for My Boyfriend Makes Me Feel Inadequate
PenguinHearts chapter 4 . 7/11/2012
This was a very good story! I can't wait to see what happens next! Keep writing! :D

Oh, by the way, I was quivering, just not in a snuggie! :D
Rogue Energizer Bunny chapter 4 . 7/8/2012
Err... I read this a while ago and totally forgot to review, heh.

I really, really like the detail of stepping on the wasp. I mean, ouch. Ugh. I got stung by a wasp when I was twelve because my twin sister threw a rock at a wasp nest. It sucked.

Yes, better conflict here, and you do a great job of expressing the emotion.

One thing that bothers me about this chapter is you switch POVs, and not just once or twice. It would do a lot better written from one character's perspective, because like this it's hard to keep track of who's who.

Update soon!
-Livia
Guest chapter 4 . 7/5/2012
:D
seventhswan chapter 4 . 7/3/2012
Oh my gosh. ((head in hands)) this was so heartbreaking.

You dealt with the emotions here so well, I can't even begin to tell you how impressed I am. I mean, I think the anger involved with being closeted/uneasy with one's sexuality is something that isn't often explored, but is so important! I mean, it just affects everyone, because you're mad at yourself and at the people you love and it's just like a whirlwind of confusion. I think you captured that perfectly.

I also like the hints that Kieran and Tyler maybe don't know each other that well, and that when Tyler does start to open up a little, Kieran doesn't know what to do with it.

Fantastic chapter! I can't wait for more!
Cheondoong chapter 1 . 7/3/2012
That was a good start. :) Looking forward for more.
Yaleni chapter 4 . 7/2/2012
Ugh, really? I could totally take the 15 pages... But in spite of that, I'll be patiently waiting for your next installment! And I'll just mention that I really really love Kieran right now. Before, I was kinda annoyed at him for being such a pushover or for being too whipped (whichever's worse) and thought that he kinda deserved the way Tyler treats him but after that burst of emotion? Pssh, I'm totally having all the feels for Kieran. Disappointed in Tyler atm, but I keep forgetting he's an insecure high school student with a stud as a boyfriend and he's still closeted. Yikes, well that's all. I like your writing. a lot. and all your stories are sweet and cuddly and adorable... I think. ;o
Honunjama chapter 4 . 7/1/2012
Yeah, I like the details :) I like the intricacies of intimacy! The misunderstood signals! It's all good stuff!

Suki
GreenGrass1 chapter 4 . 7/1/2012
I think this chapter is the best so far. Your jumping head is a lot less noticeable in this chapter. I know, jumping head is something I need to get used to when reading this style of writing - that's really my problem. Last chapter I thought I was getting a whiplash. But in this chapter, the transition between heads is a lot smoother.

I like that you put more description in this chapter, that you dwell a little and observe so to speak. Like I said, I think this is the best chapter in this story so far
PalindromeIsntOne chapter 4 . 7/1/2012
I'm hearing the beginnings of what I would call a full character take over...and I like it. From the moment after the wasp onwards I can see stuff's going to get a bit more angsty. I saw angst coming, but not precisely like that, admittedly. It was interesting to see that reaction from Kieran after the kiss. Tyler's got a lot more angst going than originally appeared, me suspects.
I'm not sure exactly what you mean by writing inside or outside the characters, but then given enough hints I just project myself headfirst into their heads anyway.
So this sweet story...not so happy sweet after all? Oh hang on, this is me expecting angst upcoming. I don't know how you're going to take this.
Look at me, holding up a sign for how little I care about that. Characters all the way. More!
the old contemptible chapter 4 . 6/30/2012
"Greater Canada", hmm? I assume that doesn't include the Praries. Jeez, you Vancouverniks are lucky. You live in a beautiful city, with plently of culture and hippies, and I'm stuck in a wasteland full of farmers, oilmen, and prarie dogs. I'm so distraught about this, I even misspelled "plenty".

Anyhow.

You have rather a good thing here. The premise of the story is very original, the characters are well-drawn (if slighylt muddled), and the setting is cool. There's just tiny niggle: the writing style is extremely detached.

Other'n that, a durn fine yarn (as we Prarieniks might say).
Honunjama chapter 3 . 6/26/2012
I'm enjoying this. I like the dynamic- Tyler's age and inexperience/naivity and Kieran's love- it's good!

'Only once had he had to let the phone ring without an answer, and Kieran told him the next time they talked that his game had gone overtime.' I like the sort of understatedness of this...it's hard to explain but there seems to be a lot of that running through this story:)

The sudden jumps between characters thoughts don't throw me or anything, but when you're seeing from one charcters perspective for quite a while and you're quite involved in what they're thinking (like Tyler and the phone call) and then it suddenly flicks to what Kieran's thinking for a sec, it just had me thinking oh, I wasn't expecting that because it's been that one perspective for quite a while. I'm not sure how helpful that is though, sorry!

Suki
PalindromeIsntOne chapter 3 . 6/25/2012
I really like what you've done with this. Seeing both sides and all the unspoken conflict is really effective. The whole towel under the door thing gave me a lot of feelings just on its own. The fact that Kieran wants to show Tyler off where Tyler is afraid he just wont match up is like...hat tip mismatch there. It's one of those things that written so it makes me grin without quite hitting eyeroll territory. Yep. I like it.

I do hope the meeting with Kieran's friends goes well.

Cherries! Sorry, I always read A/Ns and that amused me. Funny thought - maybe I'll suck lemon slices before writing an argument or something and see what happens, haha.
Rogue Energizer Bunny chapter 3 . 6/24/2012
Yes, better conflict, and it's getting much more interesting. Good job.

-REB
GreenGrass1 chapter 3 . 6/24/2012
First of all, the sentence "brightly coloured people" conjured an image of brightly and differently coloured people in my head, like purple skinned people and bright green and neon pink skin. A second later though, I thought: maybe what you meant was brightly dressed or sunlit? Anyway, I just want to let you know what went on in my head as a reader when I read that sentence.

Secondly, I noticed that you jumped heads a lot. Like Tyler, and then Derek and then Jim. Back and forth between Tyler and Kieran. I don't know if you intended to do that or not. I have read some books where they do jump from head to head but I just want to make sure.

Other than that I enjoyed reading this chapter. Just have to watch for brightly coloured people! .
seventhswan chapter 3 . 6/24/2012
Oh man, I love this more and more. I really love the clean break between Tyler's world and Kieran's world. It creates this delicious tension in their relationship. Also, I totally feel Tyler on being nervous to meet the friends. I would be! And I appreciated that Kieran is worried what his friends will think of him dating a high schooler. It's not that he's ashamed, but it is something that might raise some eyebrows. I think their whole conversation and thoughts during the talk were really relatable.

And, for some reason, I'd kind of forgotten how you mentioned Kieran was really big and then in this chapter, you described Tyler's build as smallish (or whatever adjective you want to use) and I just...can I just...I have a HUGE size kink, oh man. ;lahglh.

Er...okay, so to leave my pervy-ness aside for a minute, I really really adore this story. Would you mind if I rec'ed it in an A/N? I just think it's so lovely and I want you to get all the reviews.
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