|Reviews for Dragonpeople of Khairis|
| Solomon Sia chapter 17 . 8/26/2012
Ahh! Elf magic! At this point I'm really worried for Lia, I hope nothing happens to her, especially since Irsavon's kidnappers may still be lurking around somewhere. I understand how she had to go out int he middle of the night, even though that may be dangerous, because magic is calling to her.
The elves look like they won't be found unless they want to be. Is this call their way of arranging a meeting? I can't wait, hopefully to meet the rest of Irsavon's family.
The conversation flowed well, I find myself really respecting and liking Mac. Even with his daughters in difficulty, he finds the time and effort to help the child of a stranger. Good chapter!
| Solomon Sia chapter 16 . 8/25/2012
This was by far my favorite phrase in this chapter:
His gesture had a touch of vulnerability and was yet strangely imperious, as if he was used to giving orders.
It perfectly captured the contradiction between the vulnerability of the child and infuses a sense of mystery. Perhaps he is a being of importance and has royal blood?
Magic has taken a boost in this story, and the world is expanding. The child is an elf! Perhaps we'll get to meet his parents soon, and the ability to transmit images into the mind was a very nice touch, allowing them to communicate beyond the need for language. I wonder how he got lost, and how he found his way there. Also, I hoping to see how the elves feature into the broader part of the story.
A good read!
| Solomon Sia chapter 15 . 8/23/2012
Haha! I knew there was more to Eric Dagov that just revenge! But the thought that he loves Jena is incredible! He just met her...wow. I don't know what to think.
Alvas is a pretty cool guy. I like how he's a respectable person as well as a good friend. I think the ability to read another person's mind is quite interesting, because a society of dragonpeople where no one is able to keep secrets from each other is intriguing.
Final comment is that this chapter reinforces your well thought out sentences and imagery. I'm really getting a good feel for your writing style here.
| Solomon Sia chapter 14 . 8/23/2012
Wow. The plot is thickening here.
I think...that the dragonmen are something to beware of, certainly. They seem perfectly equipped to prey on an innocent new dragonwoman like Lia. Especially Jesse, I can imagine him being good at seduction, but at the same time there's a sensitive side to him because his brother Oren wishes to protect him from harm. Hm, Lia's getting into a whole different set of trouble.
Elaine is a very sweet, dependable sister.
| Ill Take The Sword chapter 25 . 8/22/2012
This chapter made me smile quite a bit. First off, Jesse is, you know, /alive,/ and it was nice to see Oren joking around a bit at the end, now tht the pressure was off and Jesse was getting better.
"Macannon brought me in a plate of food - so yes, I've eaten. Thank you for asking."
I love how he just assumes that Lia is asking if he's eaten, when she just was stating a fact :p
| Ill Take The Sword chapter 24 . 8/16/2012
Lumping a review for 21-24 here:
"Perhaps she's admiring the way the tunic goes with his hair." LIA, YOU FOOL!
Like how everything's coming together- the dragon people are protecting a Tuliean after she was going to be married to Dagov, and those same dragonpeople were attacked by an Araknyd that was brought through the portal that was formed when Lia took the little elf home and the man who saved her after bonding with Rusalka was an elf.
IT'S A SMALL WORLD AFTER ALL
| Solomon Sia chapter 13 . 8/12/2012
Romance! Well, you can't really expect to be left alone when wearing a dress that screams 'dance with me', can you? I like how the sheltered girls are gradually being introduced, and coming to the attention of, the world outside.
I really enjoyed this chapter, because it was so well balanced. Dagov's betrothal seems to be even more significant, I can't help but feel he is trying to draw out old Tuliean for a confrontation. At the same time, Rusalka has found friends. The innocence of the dragons' play is a marked contrast to the stiff and nuanced betrothal going on within.
| Solomon Sia chapter 12 . 8/12/2012
Really enjoyed this chapter, because of the minor rebellion of the girls here, that goes beyond slaps and mean remarks.
Hey, what's wrong with Dagov? Those are GORGEOUS dresses! And definitely the silver girdle, dah-ling. And lose those boots. Dance barefoot if you have to. Martha, Lia and Finola obviously know their stuff. I can imagine Dagov sputtering with perplexed rage already.
I loved the contrast between the betrothal dress and the forlornness of Jena. It lends an extra poignancy because had she been married to anyone else, she would have been so happy instead. No matter how beautiful the dress, it can't change the bridegroom, and that's a strong message right there.
And the last two lines added even more sparkling humour to this chapter. It's a very nice touch.
| Solomon Sia chapter 11 . 8/12/2012
Liking this chapter. The words and conversation flowed very naturally, and the reveals are well paced.
Ah! The reasons for Dagov's marriage become clear. And suddenly he seems even more a spiteful, prideful man. I can imagine anger and sorrow because his sisters were kidnapped, and the desire to have revenge, but if he's doing it just as a matter of pride, it just makes him more of a creature than ever.
There's a real problem here. Dagov talks as though he has a lot of power, and even Mac is afraid of him. I hope they are able to undermine him somehow.
| Solomon Sia chapter 10 . 8/9/2012
The language and motion were very well executed in this chapter, I felt I was watching a set of skilled improvised dancers!
I'm suddenly making a double-take on Eric Dagov, because at this moment I dont know what to think. Clearly Lia's mistaken about him wanting Jena for her estate (doesn't Eric already own Jena's estate?), although I don't know what advantage he'd have taking a Jena as his wife, even knowing that she is related to the Tulieans which he dislikes. Revenge, perhaps? Or something else, it could even be a noble gesture...I'm sure if I thought hard I could find the answer, but I'm content to wait. Dagov, if you want to marry a woman you have to make your reasons clear, not just your intentions!
Totally did not see the twist coming of Jena being a (spoiler alert), although everything fell together very neatly into place, and the strings are coming together very nicely now. And I must say I love the theme of this story, where a family fights because of their love for one another, and are held hostage by that same love.
| Solomon Sia chapter 9 . 8/9/2012
This was a nice chapter.
I love how Rusalka echoes Lia's emotions in a more direct way. I especially loved it when Lia braided Jena's hair, as I thought that was a very sweet and touching expression of sisterly affection. It was really good.
Ha yeah! I can't wait for the revelation of why Dagov wishes to marry Jena. It can't be for any good reason. It's obvious from the wedding that he's only interested in appearances and doesn't care about Jena's feelings in the slightest. Dagov is so terrible, and old, and I'd actually like a closer description of him now, though I can roughly picture his slick black hair and oily smile.
| Solomon Sia chapter 8 . 8/9/2012
This is such a sweet chapter, starting with a chance encounter and ending with a crisis. I really liked the way you introduced the new key characters here.
FIrstly, I loved the way you introduced the snow dragon and its male companion. You highlighted his attractiveness in such a gentle and yet intimate way that spoke volumes of Lia's shyness and innocence. It's like the author herself wrote this scene shyly. Plus I really love the dragons. They're so sweet and playful, I can picture the snow dragon basking lazily in the sun (that's a rather special image to me, a snow dragon with silver scales that glitter in the sun), and of course the sleek wet Rusalka that rubs his body against Lia's leg.
Eric's desire to marry Jena came as quite a shock to me, and events moved rather fast, although I was able to catch on quickly. The sudden bursts of emotion from Mac, Lia and Jena were powerful, and I felt the sense of helplessness acutely. It's terrible how the sister's loved ones are being held hostage against each other However, I would have wanted to know, before the sudden emotions, a clearer picture of what caused these events. I would like to know why Eric Dagov wishes to marry Jena and is exerting so much pressure on her to accept his betrothal. It makes me wonder what is attractive about Jena. It can't possibly be her looks or her personality, that's not something Dagov is interested in. But at the same time Jena is practically an orphan, so it's interesting! Waiting to see how it all ties together!
| Solomon Sia chapter 7 . 8/2/2012
Interesting addition to the end of the chapter, that describes a rather different set of dragons. Some of them sound dangerous, so maybe they aren't all just little pets? Looking forward to hearing about them later in the story. I can imagine other dragons that are able to actually converse with their owners, maybe even help them as a team.
Once again, you have a very subtle way of increasing the bond between Lia and Rusalka. So it seems they share some emotions, and even have a way to sense danger. She might even be able to improve her...swimming?
Looking forward to the rest of your story!
| Solomon Sia chapter 6 . 8/2/2012
I love the little Rusalka! Especially the way he mirrors all Lia's emotions. Dang it, Lia's so lucky. I can't believe she's already a dragonwoman.
There was a very sweet pacing throughout this part of the story, it's smooth and flowing, like water. When I read it, I get a safe feeling as though nothing can go wrong. that's because, as an author, you take care of your story and its people well. I love especially the soft, subtle touches to your story, such as the water dragon's small chirrup that wakes Lia and the slight change in colour of her eyes and the tattoo that appears on her forearm. The marks on Lia are just like the touch of your author words.
Looks like Elaine and Lia are both Dragonpeople.
| Solomon Sia chapter 5 . 7/27/2012
I enjoyed the description of the Blue Hall, and wouldn't have minded hearing even more about it. It sounds like it would have been my favorite hall too. I like the sudden appearance of the strange man, and I can't wait to find out who he is. Regarding the length of the chapter, I felt it was just right, and no problems if you want to keep writing at this length.
[Mac was unusually tense, like a wolf whose territory has been invaded.] This really describes to a T Mac's feelings. Uneasy, protective, yet unable to react openly. Very nice sentence!
["Do you trust me, Lia?" asked Miranda suddenly.
"Not really."] I like this a lot too, because Miranda gives off such a sense of reassurance and security, at least in my opinion, she's almost motherly, yet her refusal to tell Lia the nature of the payment thus far, and of course Lia's unique circumstances make it difficult for her to trust anyone. I suspect! That the payment has something to do with Lia being a dragonperson although I need to read on to find out.
Oh. She just got herself bonded to a waterdragon...Aha I am even more suspicious that I am right now.