Reviews for Haiku
The Autumn Queen chapter 6 . 7/14/2012
I like the words "winter wonderland" because it sets the tone for this haiku quite nicely, leading into a mellow sort of celebration.

I don't like the comma in the second line because it stilts the transition and causes a jerky pause in the flow of the poem; I think ellipses would work nicely there.

Ohana from the Review Marathon (link in profile)
The Autumn Queen chapter 5 . 7/14/2012
I like the image of this poem because of how this contrasts directly with the previous poem, showing a winter image juxtaposed with a summer, the turning around and associating the idea of dust with both of them. A clever piece of imagery there.

I don't like the placement of the commas; second comma in this one because it dulls the transition between focus on object and focus on person, first comma because it disrupts the flow between the first and second line. I don't think it's necessary. As for the second, a dash would work better.
The Autumn Queen chapter 4 . 7/14/2012
I like how the cold pool of water contrasts with the image of summer dust and heat from the title because it shows how the the first bit of the title relates to the poem without mentioning anything explicitely summery at all. Nicely subtle.

I don't like the rhythmic manter of this poem because, again, it drags a little, stilting the effect. I feel the second and third line need to be a little snappier for that impact to be more powerful.
The Autumn Queen chapter 3 . 7/14/2012
I don't like the second line of this because it drags a little and breaks the rhythm of the haiku.

I also don't like the use of the word "a/an" because it somewhat dulls the image, not really making it stand out. "the" is much more powerful.
The Autumn Queen chapter 2 . 7/14/2012
I like the transition between the first and second lines of this because it sets the tone for a slow and somewhat dulled transition into autumn, only to flip around with a storm.

I also like the description of thunder in the last line because it really personifies the natural image with human emotion, making the effect of that sound more powerful.
The Autumn Queen chapter 1 . 7/14/2012
I like the use of wind in this because it gives a very powerful image in so few words.

I don't like the punctuation of this haiku because it falls rather flat in relation to your imagery and I think you could have done a lot more with it. For example, the distinction between the first and second lines are quite powerful, so a fullstop or a dash would have worked better. As for the third line, if you did that in talking marks, it would have shown the "calling out" as well as told it. More powerful that way.

Ohana from the Review Marathon (link in profile)
the-lovely-anomaly chapter 3 . 6/23/2012
Another good one. Keep 'em coming!
the-lovely-anomaly chapter 2 . 6/21/2012
Ooh, I like this one as well.
the-lovely-anomaly chapter 1 . 6/21/2012