Reviews for Whastername, the Rebel
Rayna chapter 1 . 7/17/2012
This one is nice. It sets a nice rhythm and expectation for the reader. There is something coming. What i think would be kind of neat is if you had your craving as a recurring theme. You crave the rebellion and you crave something new and in the end you crave this girl who smells like coffee.
AnonymousLily chapter 1 . 6/19/2012
The opening 9 lines make me curious if the narrator hadn't been driving in some time and why- as well as who "they" were. I did enjoy the lines though- and felt I recognized and liked the person speaking. I liked the lack of craving and "blank without peace." I didn't understand "I turned my right to my left." "Put my park into drive" was a great image- and I liked the repetition of the "I could tell you . . . ." "Not one thing caught my attention/ her presence hit me in waves" reminded me of that heady feeling of a sudden spark. The beats to "she smiled" to "remembered" stood out beautifully soundwise and provided a wonderful contrast between the 2. I loved the rest- and "She looks like trouble" and "different I can't resist" ended it well- leaving the reader wanting more!
Natari Mirumura chapter 1 . 6/19/2012
Very nice, keep it up :D