Reviews for Shadow Games
RoseshadowPheonix chapter 5 . 2/13/2014
Trent, Trent should die. i just don't like him for some reason.
RoseshadowPheonix chapter 4 . 2/13/2014
sad and creepy and HE WAS MARRIED! WHAT THE SHMURRRR!
RoseshadowPheonix chapter 3 . 2/13/2014
A Canadian being an assassin. Very interesting.
towledestroyer chapter 9 . 4/18/2013
that was beautiful. the story was a bit short, but haha it was good. i liked the end. "its over. the war is over." also when trent died, and said, "i love you," it was pretty ironic because i was listening to a song called i love you. dont judge me it was a playlist.
towledestroyer chapter 4 . 4/18/2013
THAT WAS REALLY SAD
towledestroyer chapter 3 . 4/18/2013
hi reviewing from serena
ok so first of all make it a little slower. also give the characters a little more personality. ye ok bye
towledestroyer chapter 2 . 4/16/2013
wow
ihateyourmom101 chapter 10 . 2/24/2013
As I read the last pages, I feel my eye swelling slightly with a single drop of water, which crawls down upon my face, yes, a tear, you have brought me tears…

The part that appealed to me was:
"don't have much to say.

Aaron Garner, age 77. Ender of the Great Nuclear War.

I used to be somewhat famous. Maria passed a few years back. Hilksher's still in that confinement, trying to resolve his heartdeep problems. And I'm covered in the coats of new singers and such. I'm here, rocking in an armchair, thinking of what to do next. Not much happens now, tucked away under a blanket of thoughts. I pick up a leater bound book, with a hardy leather cover and take an carving knife. The Shadow Games-I stencil on the cover. I open the book and thumb the pages of the book.

"Hardy enough." I whisper. I pen in my best handwriting, by Aaron Garner.

Will you believe me, if I tell you the end of all wars?

Well even if you don't, here is the story of Aaron Garner, War Ender, and his partner Maria Sangers..." I, sniff, quote for thy endeth time.

NO this is unacceptable I will quote you whole story because despite my critisism i luved it!
"BOOM!

Off in the distance you can see the formation of a mushroom. The mushroom of an atomic bomb. In the years past, the Nuclear War had started. That small thread of war was finally ignited. Horsham, England, where I used to live, has been destroyed. It's now the Asian Territory of Rein of the Dragon Weapon. No one actually knows what the dragon weapon is, but it's probably General Ui's nuclear reactor, a machine that could disable our bombs before they hit the ground.

"Fire a missile Sergeant!" I hear the voice of the General ringing above all others. "Stop staring! Fire!"

I load the missile and aim at a war center.

"Not that one, Seargant! That one!" He says pointing to the building on the screen. "That one's filled to the rim with bombs!" I'm stunned.

"You want us to be kamakaze?" I say nervously.

"You'd die for Britain, yes?" I nod, not meaning it. I wasn't sure I wanted to blow up the entire Russian Territory... I put in a timer unit password and aimed for the building. Twenty minutes. Enough time on a nuclear jet to get to Britain, now an island two hundred kilometers into sea.

"We have time to escape!" I yell over another bomb. The General's face is hardened-stern.

"That would be abandoning us!" he shouts. "Stay here Sergeant Aaron!"

I shake my head in disgust. I grab the lieutinet by the arm yank her on the ship. Maria Sangers, the lieutinet, is one of my good friends, since primary school.

"We can escape!" I yell. I set the jet to England, and a destiation map appears. We begin to fly. Maria doesn't really have a choice now.

"But they would kill us for abandonement, wouldn't they?" Maria says quietly.

"Not if we escape! Plus the General is a moron. All he follows are the rules, even if he'll get himself killed." I say. It's true. General Isaac has the brain equivalent of a doornail. Maria, a former Romanian army captain, had joined the British Army after the Romanian killed her family. It's every country for themselves.

There are so many secret weapons I can barely count them. The British are allies with Belguim, Germany, and Ukraine. The weapon we were after is the American's Secret Weapon. It is the most powerful. Or so they say.

"If we flee to England..." Maria wonders.

"No." I say having figured out what she's thinking. "They won't kill us. I programmed the jet to land in Horsham. The area around it for miles is barren. No one will see us."

"But where will we escape to after? We can't stay forever." I point to a map.

"We have enough fuel to make it to the outer area of Russia. It will be abandoned and bare by then.

I can tell Maria doesn't like my idea but she doesn't have a choice. Russia is only twenty square miles of land, right in the middle of the ocean, so everyone will be dead. We are almost in Horsham, just an inch, twenty miles away. In a split second, it feels like, we land on the bumpy, black land. The jet halts ricketedly.

"Can we go out?" Maria asks. I nod. She walks out and I follow her. I touch my fingers to the ground. It's silky soft like silt, but it smells like ash. There are bits of charcoal strewn across the landscape, buried in the ashen dirt. It stains my fingers. Someone comes out from behind a pole.

"You Aaron Garner and Maria Sangers are executed for-" he says holding up a gun, but he's too late. My bullet enters his chest and the gun falls.

"Grab the gun." I say to Maria. "We need to get moving."

-

The jet has just landed in Russia. Or what used to be Russia. We waited a night for the fire and air to cool down, because otherwise the radiation would kill us. The Russian atmosphere is hot and smells like fire. There is a small ember in the landscape, so we put a few rocks around it. The raw meat from the jet is cooking over it.

It is six o'clock in the evening when we saw him.

He emerged from a small crevice in a rock.

"Тень ребенка!" He says to us. He sits by the fire and shouts it until we go inside.

"Тень ребенка! Тень ребенка! Тень ребенка!"

He is some kind of Russian. We know that. By morning he's shouting someting else.

"Подождите, пока тень игр."

He keeps yelling. We walk outside and listen to him yak. We offer him a protein bar and he takes it saying,

"Спасибо." I'm guessing that's thank you.

He begins to tell a story. Maria knows some Russian, so she translates.

"Last night he said, 'Shadow Child' to you so, you must be a 'Shadow child'. He also said something about 'Shadow Games'."

"Много лет назад, был бог."

"There was a god a long time ago..."

"Мужчина убил его. Его дочь Ubora, было страшно с ума и убил этого человека. Больше мужчин прятались в тени, боится этой девушки. Она убила многих людей. Она хочет убить Тень детей. Она хочет тебя убить."

"Something about an angry woman wanting to kill Shadow Children and you too..."

"Well that's nice!" I spit at the man.

"Maybe he's not crazy." Maria says.

"Ha. Ha." I retort at Maria. Until there's a gunshot. Right through the man. {chapter one}"- yeah i just quoted the first chapter, sniff, i luved it soo much
"The bullet shot clean through the man. We turned to see a man holding a rifle.

"You're a shadow child." He says it like a generator, a low buzzing voice.

"God, I'm twenty three. Leave me alone!" He hands me a gun. I push it away. "I'm not a Shadow Child or whatever you call it! Leave me alone!"

He looks at me and turns to Maria. Maria is hesitant, but she accepts the gun.

"Nu te-am văzut într-o lungă perioadă de timp." she says to the man. "Hilksher is that you?"

The man, Hilksher, looks at Maria.

"Da."

"Aaron, this is Hilksher. He worked with me in Romania, and after hearing what happened to my family, he transferred to the Ukrainian army so he could work with the British." Maria pauses. "He wants to take us to the Shadow Games."

"That man..." Hilksher says accenting the words with a sigh, "Was a Ukrainian enemy. He tells false things about the Shadow Games. You see a spy misplaced a certain object that was with the Russian army a few years back, and it is the key to the American's secret weapon. A weapon that could stop the war by killing everyone-except the Americans. The Shadow Games are a series of direction guiding you to the object, unless you get killed first."

"So what do you do with the object afterwards?" I ask out of curiosity.

"Destroy it."

"How do we find the place to begin at?" I asked, hinting I would do it.

"Me. You see you could have killed me with the gun I gave Maria, but then you wouldn't be able to find the object."

-

When we arrive at the beginning, I am immediatly stunned. The place is a bar, built around a lava spring. There are groups everywhere, one man one woman, all drinking beers or wine or something. I order myself a beer, but Maria isn't one for alchohol. However Hilksher is and is half out drunk by the time Maria decides to try a glass of wine.

"Come on, take a tasty?" Hilksher says swinging down on a seat near a bunch of women.

"Leave him alone, he's drunk every five minutes!" Maria says laughing. A man comes out on a little stage, a few planks of wood piled on top of each other.

"You all Shadow children?"

There's a round of drunk 'yes's.

"WELL THEN LET'S GET A-STARTED! All of you kids out there are chosen to find that object! Now ya start here, and the man or woman that picked you up will have a one a these!" he says holding up a navigators earpiece. "And all you's looking are gonna get one a those picker-upper thingies!" The man is obviously drunk, he's almost falling in the lava spring.

"Outside ya got your ships to ride on and stuff. Now upstairs are the navigators area. SO GO ALREADY!" He hands all of us the earpieces and we're off. The other groups have a rough start being drunk and all. Outside each airship has a different distinct feature. Ours has a gold outside resembling the British's wealth, and a platinum plate just below the nose of the airship, because of the newly found platinum mines in England and Scotland. May I remind you, Wales went corrupt in the fourth World War? So the only parts left of Britain are England, Scotland, the whole of Ireland.

As we enter the Airship, which is enormous, we realize it needs a name.

"What should we call it?" Maria asks. I thought of a clever name, regarding my name.

"The Airon!" I say. Maria sighs.

"You're so upstruck!" She says. Upstruck is what we call highly thought of people. By themselves, anyway...

We examine the ship. In one self-pocket in the dashboard is three hundred dollars, fifty pounds, three thousand yen, forty seven euros, and sixty four pesos. The dashboard is loaded with buttons, like autopilot, missile launch, auto-landing and more. There are four open quarters and two o
ihateyoumom101 chapter 3 . 2/24/2013
"woolly slippers"
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
storylover12345, i really do love you (your writing) but
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
this wont work unless you know that
THERE ARE NO WOOLLY SLIPPERS
no wait i bet there are, but i have nothing better to do so
Have you seen WOOLLY SLIPPERS? probably
Have you worn WOOLLY SLIPPERS? possibly
Have you smelled WOOLLY SLIPPERS? hope not
Have you used WOOLLY SLIPPERS? i assume you have
Have you ate WOOLLY SLIPPERS? no, please
Have you tasted WOOLLY SLIPPERS? nonononono
Have you made out with WOOLLY SLIPPERS? im your your boy/girlfriend would not be happy about that...

forget that thought,
this is my fav chapter so far, nice descriptions and whatnot,
the last line is kwel, "You'll die" - iquote heh i mean I quote.

no offence -i am a gummybear
SINCERELY.
I HATE YOUR MOM 101
i dont really hate your mom, ive never met her

or have i?
ihateyourmom101 chapter 2 . 2/24/2013
You're a shadow child." He says it like a generator, a low buzzing voice - i quote
generator...whatever, that doest make sense but ok, if does to you then maybe im off in the head
"sticky grenade " - i quote: GRENADES ARE NOT STICKY IF YOU ARE GOING TO WRITE A WAR STORY THEN KNOW THE TEXTURES OF YOUR WEAPONS sheesh, authors theese days...
Have you ever felt a sticky grenade? Bet not.
Have you ever seen a sticky grenade? Nope.
Have you ever smelled a sticky grenade? Goodness I hope not.
Have you ever used a sticky grenade? If you have then I hope it wasn't near my house.
Have you ever tasted a sticky grenade? If you are the least bit sensible then no.
GRENADES ARE NOT STICKY!

otherwise nice chapter...
no offence -i am a gummybear
SINCERELY.
I HATE YOUR MOM 101
i dont really hate your mom, ive never met her

or have i?
ihateyourmom101 chapter 1 . 2/24/2013
FIRST: You spelled Lieutenant wrong
SECOND: I hate your mom (jk)
THIRD: "Asian Territory of Rein of the Dragon Weapon" SO RACIST GEES
FOURTH: "Off in the distance you can see the formation of a mushroom. The mushroom of an atomic bomb" -That sound WAY too cheerfult for a nuke, (in goofy voice): hey looke its a giant air mushroom - (normal guy): no idiot its a nuke, sych
FIFTH: You have a legit main character
SIXTH: Retort sounds SO pollitically incorrect, but its not, just the "tort" part sounds like a pleasebt farting noise, just saying
SEVENTH: YOU BE LAZY EH! YOU DO NUT TRANSLATE ZE RUSSIAN! I KEEL YOU, JK... Troll...

no offence -i am a gummybear
SINCERELY.
I HATE YOUR MOM 101
i dont really hate your mom, ive never met her

or have i?
QuantumRelativity chapter 10 . 12/8/2012
STORYLOVER12345:
I think its fair to say that you have talent for writing. I have read through your story as some friends of mine suggested it to me. You have a very standerized yet mature way of writing but add in that humor that we all need.

The plot of the story was very good. Please sontinue doing what you do and I feel you have a great writing carrer in fromt of you.

My favorite character, if you must know, is TRENT.
Reason beine that he is the most realistic character and relatable character.
His dialouges and other characteristics are ones you could find in someone you know.
He is one of those important, snappy side characters which usually tend to be my favorite.

My Least favorite character is HILKSHER
Why? Because he is the antagonist and my instant senses make me dislike antagonists.
However, the reason that he is so attached to his lost love which caused him to be so really disturbs me.
Its not you, Storylover12345, that has done anything wrong, because Hilksher's case is not unlike many real life scenarios. I just think that, if I knew someone like Hilksher, I wouldn't be very happy with him.

My thing is just like, okay, the love of your life is dead, move on. I realize that it takes time but Hilksher just gets on my nerves :), but I presume that it what you wanted to do.

I like how at the end you made it that Aaron wrote the book. A very common ending but always enjoyed.

Overall, great story, do continue posting other stories.

Many regards,
CHZLVR25
Guest chapter 10 . 10/11/2012
Zach that was great story of serious events. Mashed up into a pretty long story on the internet. With the core parts of the Hunger Games and different elements the Hunger Games didn't have. With the wars of mutpile different countries and the betrayal of books' radomness {in a good way} helps spice up the story with the twist and turns of this EPIC book.I would highly recomend the Shadow Games and all the other books this astouning auther has made!
Guest chapter 5 . 10/11/2012
Hilksher should get drunk reguarly.
Guest chapter 4 . 10/11/2012
ITS CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCRRRRRRRRRRRRR RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEEEEPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPIIIIIIIIIII IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
49 | Page 1 2 3 .. Last Next »