|Reviews for Stories That Shouldn't Be Told|
| Wolfinson chapter 5 . 7/8/2012
I love how this is turning out. I can see everything in my mind clear as day and i love the character development. And the parrot cracks me up.
| ScarletRoseHeart chapter 5 . 7/5/2012
I can't wait for the next chapter
| Deserthawk chapter 5 . 7/5/2012
"Yeah, It talks, it talks" That parrot is a boss. XD
Anyway, I thought the descriptions in this chapter were pretty cool. Like how the parrot melted out of the plants, and the dilapidated cat, and some others I'm probably forgetting. And the towns! I can't wait to hear more about Shaft (so some places are like Venice :)). Also, I think Bas might be taking after Annie with all those withering looks, lol. The only thing I've got is that I sort of had trouble visualizing the lock scene (er, never been much a boat person), even though you did a nice job explaining the technical terms... but I didn't even know what a bollard was... BTW, Bas/Sebastian is an awesome nickname. I didn't even realize it was short for something, lol. Hm, Ben is a very mentally sturdy person, isn't he? If something like that happened to me, I would be cagey for a long time afterward, whereas he's already joking around and stuff.
| ScarletRoseHeart chapter 3 . 7/5/2012
I liked the the mix of everything in your story. The short spurts of comedy are really good! Keep up the good work!
| ScarletRoseHeart chapter 1 . 7/5/2012
I really like it for a first chapter and how you write is very entertaining and gave me some ideas!
| Deserthawk chapter 4 . 6/29/2012
Hey. Can you tell me where this place is? I want to go visit.
It was cool having those little insights into all those people's lives. They all seem nice. And unique too. I liked how you went into all their personalities and little quirks. And Bas is a boss.
I'm sort of disappointed the Jenga scene didn't happen in real time, but it was well done this way too. Maybe we'll get some more flashbacks/answers later? Eh? Eh?
Wow, Ben had a pretty rough life. I'm guessing he got in trouble with some gangs/the mafia or something? Maybe he was in a gang and got captured by a rival gang? It seems more plausible, knowing his back story now. I'm glad Crash/Odessa wasn't abused or anything. That would just be too sad IMO. In other news, it does not seem Annie and Paul are pirates. Lol.
Cool! I can't wait to see sketches of the chars. Lemme know when you make them?
| Deserthawk chapter 3 . 6/25/2012
Anatidaephobia. This chapter made me think of that word. Hm, Ben doesn't want to take painkillers? That makes me think, maybe he's afraid of addiction, maybe he's a recovered addict. Also those scars on Crash (I still like that name best) makes me think she was abused or something, and that photo, maybe Annie's related to her. So they ran away from home or something. Or I'm just thinking too much into it.
I noticed this chapter was a little slower paced, but that's not a bad thing, makes it more realistic I think. Also the description of the boat at dawn was calming, especially all the wildlife. Now I'm imagining the Louisiana wetlands for some reason. Are there crocs/gators around there?
Ah, Jenga is fun. Can't wait for the next chapter! I feel like we're still not gonna learn many answers though...
| Deserthawk chapter 2 . 6/23/2012
Cool setting. The atmosphere too. It kind of reminds me of Venice for some reason. That boat actually sounds like an awesome place to live. And the duck, that made me laugh. I like how you don't dump out the answers right away. I think stories are better with secrets. Hm, so I wonder what Ben is. I don't think he's a criminal. Maybe a spy? And Annie and Paul and Crash... maybe they're smugglers? Ah, guess I'll have to keep reading. Nice job with that scene at the end. That was a tender moment.
Oh yeah the cover is nice too. I wish I could see it better... Do you have a bigger version?
| Deserthawk chapter 1 . 6/23/2012
Hey. This was good. Really polished and interesting. Especially the descriptions were intense. It was almost painful for me to read. Just means it's well-done though. You introduce the characters nicely too. Like you don't bunch everything up, but by the end I have a good idea what they look like and their personalities so far. Crash totally sounds like someone I would hang out with.
I enjoy stories like this, it makes me want to read on. Good job!
Oh BTW good description. It caught me.