Reviews for Nowhere
Dr. Self Destruct chapter 1 . 6/24/2012
I really like the vivid imagery you have going on in this. In just a few lines you're able to get across the entire situation, what the character looks like (well, the important part of her appearance anyways), and the setting. I've always been jealous of people who are able to write poetry like this - I'm way too long winded to be able to attempt something along these lines, haha. But yeah, I think you did it wonderfully. It's a great balance of action and description, and the way you format the sentences and the wording you use makes this read like it's written as prose.

I think the thing that stood out most to me was the way the character acts after hitting the tree. The line "that tree hit her, not the other way around" really speaks a lot about the character. You do a wonderful job getting across her personality without even coming out and saying what she's like. Instead, you show us what she's like. I get a really good impression of her from just a few stanzas, and I really appreciate the effort you took to put everything together.

I also thought the part about the boy honking at her, but kept going, was pretty funny. The way she waves for him to stop kinda gives me the impression she expects him to do it, instead of hopes he'll do it. Also, the way you approach how she's dressed also says a lot about her personality, especially the boots and the spaghetti strap hanging down her arm. I get the feeling she's not the most proper lady, and I really like that because I think tomboys are infinitely more interesting/entertaining to read about.

The narrator is interesting as well, because from the way the narrator isn't really addressed makes this more a first-person story told from a minor character's POV. Which is really neat, because I don't encounter that very often. I think you do a great job characterizing both of them through their interaction in the last couple stanzas, and the way the narrator observes the other girl.

Good job. :) I really liked this.
Punslinger chapter 1 . 6/23/2012
This stirs up some old feelings from my past-many of them I'd just as soon leave comfortably buried. I suppose we all have been to that nowhere junction with every direction seeming equally bleak, whether to heaven or hell. And it doesn't help much to have a companion like the girl you described.

Good piece of mood fiction.
electrical moon chapter 1 . 6/23/2012
Nice poem! I like how you describe the girl. I've been in the middle of nowhere, both ways.