Reviews for The truth
GossamerSilverglow chapter 4 . 8/15/2013
I felt after my review to your story Shattering Illusions I'd give you another review to something like this. It's obvious that poetry is your strength, because this was good. I'm no poetry expert, but I have been trying to branch out. I enjoyed this. It was dark and there was an anger to it that I immediately picked up on. It almost seems like a 'why can't you grow up' type of deal. "Now one was ever trying," "the world has been lying" -I feel like throughout each chapter it became a personal problem that spanned and created a world problem or rather it was related to the world problem. Again, this was good. Sorry if I misinterpreted it, like I said I don't usually read poetry! Keep writing.
YFIQ chapter 3 . 1/8/2013
Yeah, the same.

People lives in poverty and often times, how many others even cares?
YFIQ chapter 2 . 1/8/2013
Craaaaaaaaaaawling in my skin...
Zachary Fice chapter 2 . 12/12/2012
I like the first two lines. I think it says a lot about humanity, some people in particular. We find it intensely difficult to let go, to forgive people for how they've wronged us, and sometimes we cling to those negative emotions even to the bitter end.

This second chapter does feel repetitious to me, though. It feels like you're being constrained by your a, a, a rhyme scheme, reusing the same words at the end repeatedly. I think you might benefit and be able to branch out more if you experimented and broke out of that some time, maybe with later poems.
Zachary Fice chapter 1 . 12/12/2012
I think you get your tone across well in this. Very pessimistic and dark, and that's immediately obvious. I don't care for how simplistic it is. Poetry to me feels like it should have a condensed, but potent vibe to it, but this feels like it doesn't have anything to set it apart and make it memorable. Maybe I've just read too many angsty teen poems in my time, though, so take that for what you will.
AquariusGirl230191 chapter 3 . 10/19/2012
I like the way you rhyme all the ending words the same (I've tried to do a similar thing in my latest poem "All things Considered) It's hard to do but it works great!

I like the way you have three chapters and it follows on the poem, it's an interesting way to do it. I think it's intriguing and I wonder what the story that accompanies it will be about. I bet it will be a good read!

For now though, I have to say, good job! Enjoyed your poem.
romaniac chapter 3 . 9/27/2012
Wow.I like the way it stirs up emotions.I don't really like the way it feels estranged and the Rhyme scheme seems a bit off but its really I have a Question.
Is it set in the future or something?.Keep it up.
dark-fire-rebel chapter 1 . 9/26/2012
I liked them poem a lot. The rhyming scheme you used gives the poem a nice flow. However, the only thing that I would point out is that this line, "But now all that left is crying", sounds a bit awkward to me. Maybe because of the wording, but it disrupted the flow of the poem. Besides that I think you did a great job conveying your message in such few words!
Guest chapter 1 . 9/25/2012
RinaJewelz chapter 1 . 9/19/2012
I like the rhyme scheme in this because it flows nicely and makes for easy reading. I liked the last line as well because the double rhyme really added emphasis and reinforced that the poem had come to an end. Good job :)
Abbi4Raie chapter 1 . 9/18/2012
I liked that it rhymes and rhyming isn't that easy to accomplish. It was enjoyable because I can feel the emotion coming from it and it reminds me of many things
Complex Variable chapter 2 . 9/12/2012
Interesting; it sounds almost like a Pop song; and, like the lyrics of said song-genre, the meaning of your poetry is crystal clear—always a good thing. The rhyme scheme is a bit annoying though—especially since the first chapter of the poem has six continuously rhyming lines. Although, the "As I am falling" does a nice job of offsetting the monotony of the rhyme scheme and provide a welcome contrast—both in terms of its sound, and its meter. I would like to see you use this interrupted rhyme scheme instead of the monophonic one.
Faithless Juliet chapter 1 . 9/4/2012
I like how you start this off with a definite bang: “People are dying” that immediately got my attention and captivated me into wanting to read more. Your rhyming was also very good throughout the poem, and I think the short length really benefited from that because it’s hard to read really lone rhyming poems.

Some slight issues: I think you should use either commas or periods at the end of each line, not just for formatting, but also for ease of reading. “At one time I thought you were flying” really confused me. I feel like flying was the rhyme you came up with but it doesn’t really fit the rest of the poem, and you don’t follow up on the idea, so I don’t know if they’re literally flying (supernatural) or if they’re just high.

“But now all that left is crying” should be “that’s” I also liked how the ending brought us back to the beginning statement. Keep up the good work.

Much love,
YFIQ chapter 1 . 8/23/2012
While it's small, it still says a lot at the same time. Once people are motivated, they can do just about anything if they're willing to try.
AppleCrumble chapter 1 . 6/27/2012
Simple piece and a pleasure to read. It's not heavy piece with tons of metaphors just easy to read with a clear and deep message.