Reviews for This Time
GrangerDanger333 chapter 1 . 2/16/2013
Ohhh geez. Another sad one. Brilliant though. I was going to say I would do this if my friend died, but I hope I wouldn't do ALL of that. But seriously, you have a really wonderful way of communicating real sadness/depression etc. And love and confusion and stuff (in your other stories). All your writing is so good because you write it like it is, not all sappy and crap. Although you can do cringy stuff too, but it does happen like that occasionally.
Anyway, cool story :D

Sorry! I keep reviewing/favouriting all your stuff so you're probably getting loads of emails. I just love your work :)
ImmanenceEnsured chapter 1 . 1/7/2013
This is a very, very good story.
It was effective in every way. The words you use, and of course the style. I love these short, poignant sentences.

I even cried a bit. That doesn't happen very often (or maybe I'm PMSing) but waw. You did so well. I loved Flowers, because it was beautiful, but this is beautiful AND it touched me deeply. We see him sinking in. Normally I'd be depressed, but this person is so incredibly soft, sweet, lovely and in love that I can understand. No matter how much I hate the idea of suicide and the ones you leave behind, you made this person's actions understandable. Logical, even. Because we can see right inside his head. With the lover's words and actions, you even created a believable 'life after death'. All of this in so few words, this is truly a magnificent piece of writing.
The only regrettable thing were the grammar mistakes here and there. I'm not a purist and I don't have the right to tell you to correct your grammar, but I thought it was a grave pity because without them, this story would've been perfect.

You understood your concept and poured it into a perfect piece. I'm so happy I stumbled upon this. And sorry for rambling but this deserves a long review. Just. Waw.
daisylou chapter 1 . 12/8/2012
oh dang it's so awesome that you could make me weep with such simple story
just added you as my fav author :B will totally read I 90 West later!
the old contemptible chapter 1 . 11/11/2012
Rebono shel oylam, farvos? I've read maybe five stories like this, and they all end the same bloody way. Fellow dies, usually self-inflicted. Fellow #2 misses him, sees him in dreams, etc. Angst ensues. Fellow #2 picks up the farm at a bargain price (and it's always done with sleeping pills) and he and the First Fellow gambol happily among the Seraphim for Eternity.

Yes, this is a good example of the above formula, and yes, we are really there wth Corin (furthermore, is anyone actually named Corin?) as he slips deeper into irrationality, and yes, it's very sad, but why can't we ever have a story where Fellow #2 realises "wait, my dead best friend/lover/THING has actually copped it, which must mean his regular visits to my brain are not real, so I should NOT swallow this half-cup of Lunesta".

Or how 'bout he just says "yeah, his visits actually happened, but why would I end my life at age 16/17 to spend Eternity with my highschool love? If I live, I'll probably have a much more fulfilling existence" or something alomg those lines. I'm not saying your story was bad (it wasn't) but I would find it much more poignant if he acknowledged the fact that he had to move on, and then did so, instead of swallowing the aforementioned half-cup of Lunesta and upping the ludicrosity factor of this bit by a factor of ten.
whereforeartthou chapter 1 . 10/28/2012
I lost my brother recently, it's just like this.
JHeartbreak chapter 1 . 9/25/2012
Yes! At last, the apotheosis of your prose-fictional apprenticeship. Here we have a solid, thought-out plot, fleshed out with a powerful prose style that communicates a lot of feeling.

Again you return to the theme of death, which was a big part of "Flowers" - in a sense, this is the negative portrayal of the same situation - and also the last story, "Rearrange", was too. I mean, Simon in that story may as well be dead; what's-his-face is left in a state of grief either way.

One thing that makes this story so effective is that you tame your narrative voice so much. I know we've talked about that for I90 West, the way it sometimes gets in the way, and your previous three stories show a consistent struggle to find the right voice. Here you hit such an unembellished, plain-spoken note that the feeling comes right through, that there's nothing between the reader and the story. I'm not saying you should do that all the time, but that it works splendidly here.

Yes... ultimately I like this story because you took an interesting idea and fully developed it to its conclusion. There's something fulfilling about that.
dayofwrath chapter 1 . 9/12/2012
I'm just saying what I've wanted to say- Corin's perception of the world and how warped it is brings a special quality to this story that you don't see much in this genre. You can tell that he really doesn't feel like he's insane and he's trying so hard to convince other people, but just can't work up the evidence necessary to do so. Julian's intervention is really well-written too. Looking back on this terrible excuse for a review, I definitely liked this way too much.
DawnSister chapter 1 . 8/7/2012
This is so sad, so very heartbreakingly sad. And it's the ones left behind that I feel so desperately sorry for. They all seemed so despairing and helpless. You seemed to have been able to transfer our sympathies to them even though they were only background noise, but because Corin was so emotionally detached the emotions came from them.

A good oneshot, with the right balance of unanswered questions at the end, I am wondering how Julian dies, but not enough as to make the story any less poignant.

I was left feeling that, even though Corin took his own life, that there was closure because they would be together and they were in the end, so it was a bitter sweet ending.

heyitsstupidme chapter 1 . 7/21/2012
that was really sad, it made me cry, even if I kind of knew that the end would be like this
seventhswan chapter 1 . 6/25/2012
gah! This was so creepy and awesome! When I first saw the summary, I wondered if it was going to be a lot like Flowers, which would have been fine, since you know I love that one. But it wasn't! It was so different and just as good!

For a minute there, I thought Cor was going to be okay and then he sank back in with Julian. Ugh. Heartbreaking. (but like...also romantic?)

Great story! Also: are you going to write more of Flowers? Is that what that A/N meant? I am so excited!
Aletiah chapter 1 . 6/25/2012
I love it! So, so sad... but the ending... wow. I know it's tragic and sad and everything, but it was beautiful!