|Reviews for Stardust House: 1st Year Spring|
| Adri Mars chapter 14 . 9/8/2012
To the guest reader who gave me that lovely review - I wish I knew your name so I can properly reply to you LOL. ; Actually, I really like your latest review. I'm quite aware of my weaknesses in my writing, but I actually would like to thank you for your thorough review. I don't get many of these types of reviews but that was a lot more helpful to me than offensive LOL. Well, these are all rough drafts so eventually they will be edited once I'm through. I just want to write it out so I can get all my ideas out or else I would be forgetting about them in the future. Thank you for reading my fic and thank you for your constant reviews. (_)
| Guest chapter 14 . 9/8/2012
Awww, so Stardust House is gonna end soon, huh? But at least the story doesn't end quite yet!) And Jun and Yuki are together- finally! I can't wait to see how their relationship progresses! And I can't forget about Kairi and Kaito, of course! I look forward to the developments in their romance as well.
Also, I'd like to give you some advice on your writing. Your work is great, but everything can always be improved, right? And it's not just you I'm advising, this goes for other writers as well.
-Details: If there is one thing about your story that sticks out to me, it's the details. Writing, especially nonfiction, needs a lot of detail. I feel you have already achieved that- and maybe too much. Most authors don't put enough detail, some have no problem incorporating it into their work. You're one of the few who can do the latter. Yes, it's a good thing, but putting too much detail will make the reader lost, or lose interest. Even I got lost a few times. So I recommend that you tune down a little on the detail.
-Length: This also relates to detail. If you have too much detail, the chapter will naturally be very long. The length of the story/chapter affects the reader as well. Some like short chapters, others like long ones. I have no problem reading your chapters, but then again, that's just me. Also try to cut down on the words. Another tip- if this story gets published (which I hope it does), whether as a manga or novel, the length of your chapters are just perfect. Try saving the extra stuff for those kind of things. That way, readers will have more to look forward to when they read the published form.
I guess that's it. Please don't take offense when you read this, because I only want to help you improve. Consider this as constructive criticism and bear in mind that I also took the time to type this out. Anyways, I can't wait to read the next chapter and hope you think of my advice.
A devoted fan)
| Guest chapter 12 . 8/13/2012
I'm becoming a fangirl for these fictional characters! And this chapter had so many romantic parts! I loved them! My favorite, though it's more sexy than romantic, is the Kaito/Kairi scene in the classroom.
"Honored to love you...
Closer... 'Hold you... '
And closer... "Kiss you...'
And... Closer... 'And make love to you... Not just one night... But all day, all night...'
KYAAAA! I was going crazy with this part! It was so hot! I absolutely loved it! I love how Kairi's character is cool and tough, but she's so innocent when it comes to this kind of stuff. She's so cute like that!
Anyway, great chapter. And finally, a Yuki/Jun scene. It was so romantic! I'm going rabid fangirl here! (don't worry though, I'm harmless ;)) I hope you update again soon, and I look forward to more of these scenes. )
| Guest chapter 10 . 7/9/2012
Great chapter! Though I think you can do without all those emails at the beginning because they discussed it in class anyway. I can't wait for the next chapter, especially for the upcoming "Salsa Dance." Just so you know, I like my salsa hot, haha_
| Adri Mars chapter 9 . 7/5/2012
Guest - Thanks for the review. No offense with that, it's expected. I've read countless cheesy manga-genre fics before, so understandable. :)
MistyRose - In (almost) every manga that I've read, introducing the other characters who will be important to the main character should always be introduced "with a bang." LOL. XDDD
Ch. 10 is up. :)
| Guest chapter 9 . 7/5/2012
This story deserves more reviews! At first, it seemed like a cheesy and badly-written(no offense) fic, but hell was I wrong! It's an amazing story. The plot is fantastic, and the characters are great. Within the first chapter, I was hooked on this fic! Also, since this story is in the manga catagory, I have to say that this is absolutely PERFECT manga story material. If this ever is published(as a real manga), it's a guarantee that I'll read it, and I'm sure that many others will become lovers of "Stardust House." Well, enough of my rambling, I hope you update soon! I look forward to reading the next chapter. )
| MistyRose14 chapter 2 . 7/5/2012
Haha that was a really hilarious chapter - I'm reading this on the bus and I'm making all sorts of weird noises! XD
I really liked the way you introduced the other supporting characters. With such a large cast, I was initally intimidated, but they're all really unique and interesting! I also love the theme of gender that you have running - it's a topic that I think will greatly affect how the plot will run and how the characters will interact with each other and evolve. I really like it :) Oh and I'm a sucker for hot guys, so well done, I'm hooked!
I've got to say, the bath scene was the funniest thing I've read on the site! Bravo! Haha XD I won't comment too much on grammar this time, it wasn't too distracting, which is nice during long chapters! Continue the great work, I'll try to read more soon :D Bon travail!
| MistyRose14 chapter 1 . 6/28/2012
I know what you mean about writer's block and such haha. It sucks XD. Well, I managed to have time to attempt a quick read, so I do have a few comments:
-First of all, just watch out for your tenses (yeah, minor grammar, but this is just a short note about that ). It can make a sentence or a paragraph difficult to get through, since I need to go back to reread it, trying to figure out what you're saying...
-There is so much detail in this first chapter, which has both benefits and drawbacks. While it does provide a great amount of depth and credibility, it can also make the story feel long at times. It's a difficult balance between deciding what details to share right away, and which ones to leave tucked away to surprise your readers with later .
- Length... This is just my personal little preference here, I know several people who love a long story to read. That doesn't mean that I'd only read a paragraph-long story, but I found it a little daunting at first. However, it will probably be to your benefit to have longer chapters as the story progresses, as your readers will be hooked and wanting more!
So that's all I have for now, I feel like you have a good amount of set up done, along with lifelike details to flesh our your plot. A la prochaine (until next time)!