Reviews for Venisa's Warrior
this wild abyss chapter 1 . 8/11/2012
I don't like your lack of names because it's hard to differentiate your characters. I don't like your fragments in the beginning because they were jarring.
lookingwest chapter 1 . 8/11/2012
You know, this was surprisingly well written, and I liked that. I really liked the rhythm of your opening sentence, though keep in mind that "blonde" should be "blond" if it's referring to anyone of the male sex. I also liked the section when the boy is seen as being terrified but not showing it. That was a favorite section of mine, I thought it gave some unique character development in a tight situation with a smaller cast - which I also liked. I found myself wondering if the boy was a small boy or a young man though, or a teenager. The language there can be difficult (I relate), but I wasn't sure if I should be thinking 12 year old verses like 18 year old. Or somewhere in between. Not a big deal though, but given the rating it could've been either way. So - well written opening! Liked the opening images, they definitely caught my attention.
ArtificiallyBlonde chapter 2 . 7/17/2012
Derp derp, I'm back XD
Hm, interesting. A stranger saying he has information about a lost loved one...Very, very interesting. I eagerly await chapter 2. (3? Idk XD)
ArtificiallyBlonde chapter 1 . 7/16/2012
Ooh, ominous 8D I'm thoroughly intrigued. I like the style, how it flows. It's a pleasant change from what I usually read. It's nice and dark, too, which I love! Awaiting Chapter one eagerly! :D
cupidgirl xx chapter 1 . 7/8/2012
This is really good, very mysterious! Can't wait to read more!