|Reviews for A Gift of Time|
| AllyrienDM chapter 12 . 2/26/2013
That was pretty freakin' adorable :)
| Tim chapter 11 . 2/22/2013
Nice to see a new update! The rapid fire q&a flows really well, I doubt I'm that Tim, but I loved the Dune line. Oh the stress this must immediately throw Nat into... Great work.
| LuckycoolHawk9 chapter 11 . 2/21/2013
So that is how her foresight works. . Kenzi, what a cute name! Poor Grace, being burned twice in one story! I am excited to read more whenver you can update.
| AllyrienDM chapter 11 . 2/21/2013
Hahahaha I did a double take when she said Kenzi, especially given that I was - naturally - watching Lost Girl. ;)
| ZeroGain chapter 3 . 2/15/2013
Excellent. I know you're having heartburn about it, but don't. I really enjoy this chapter. Your characters are endearing and you pick just the right details to bring out their qualities. This moment to reflect adds wonderful touches to the scenery and people in it, especially for a returning reader.
The precognition as memory is original and unique in my experience. I don't think I've read that anywhere else. The science of your gifts in this series is a major draw for me. While we certainly aren't going for textbooks, there's more than enough to tickle my curiosity and draw me in deeper, and to really leave me feeling like I've learned something or thought about something in a different way.
On the criticism angle, I'm liking the insight into Rose, but she has always been something of an enigma to me. I like her when we're around her, and I am intrigued by the more frequent insight to her, so I will withhold any real criticism of her. If I were reading this consecutively then she's still worth page turning for. I'm of a mind, by the way, that her vignettes may not be concurrent with the main story. Since this one is fundamentally about time and how people relate to it, I can't help but search for such a twist.
| ZeroGain chapter 2 . 2/11/2013
Great revision on this chapter. The Nat/Colin relationship really sings in this one. I know who you're using as the inspirational models, or I think I do, and I can really feel them in here. Really, really great job on that.
Other parts: Max's headache from the future change. This implies that it has happened before. Also the astute reader will notice that Nat's future memories have returned in this conversation about Colin's fate.
Keep up the good work!
| ZeroGain chapter 1 . 2/11/2013
It's fun to return to Tassamara. Though I've read this opening before, I like this revision. You maintain your minimalist style, which is great and I love it.
I realize that Nat is dealing with the loss of her family home in this chapter, but I'm not sure I feel her enough or that she's dramatic enough about her loss of future memory. I'm not sure I'd correct it yet, I want to see how events play out first.
This chapter is definitely for a person familiar with the characters. I like that.
| Guest chapter 1 . 2/7/2013
Nice, shiny new version of chapter 1. It's very interesting that, in this version, Nat has much more control over her precog than before. Here's a few things I spotted:
but Rose had grown up in the days when the cool springs made summer bearable
The juxtaposition of 'cool springs' and 'summer' had me reading this twice before I figured out 'springs' refered to water, and not the season. And I'm not aware of any springs in the middle of the Ocala National Forest, only along the rivers.
Natalya and her father, Max, could foretell the future.
How about 'got glimpses of the future'? 'Foretell' implies to me a more comprehensive knowledge of what will happen than I've seen them get in the stories.
If she asked what they were talking about, Akira would answer with words like 'quantum field theory' and 'duality transformations' and 'scalar potential energy.'
How about adding on ', leaving Nat knowing nothing more.'
"What are you two on about?" Grace pulled her arm away from Lucas.
Do you mean 'going on'?
"Oh, hell." Her words were an exhale of breath Raising her voice, she called out to the rest of the family, "Get out. It's spreading. And call 911!"
Missing a period after 'breath'.
A sheriff's car was pulling into the driveway. Colin Rafferty, the sheriff, stepped out, his tan sheriff's uniform neat and pressed.
You use 'sheriff' three times in this sentence.
| AllyrienDM chapter 10 . 1/23/2013
"This is why I ignore ghosts. Give 'em an inch and before you know it, you're picking up their laundry."
Love it. Sorry to chime in so late! Still here!
| LuckycoolHawk9 chapter 10 . 1/18/2013
I love how well that conversation went with Akira. It was quite good and brought so much more to Rose. Cool, we have an angel in this story. I want to know the little girl's name, I guess the little girl has the gift of healing or life. Can't wait for more!
| AllyrienDM chapter 9 . 1/13/2013
Hahaha! Rose is NOT a fan of that question, if I recall. Loved the whole scene with Akira. And also "Ladies don't run."
| LuckycoolHawk9 chapter 9 . 1/12/2013
Interesting question for Rose. I wonder what the answer is. . wait was Zane sleeping without any clothes on? I love this chapter's threat. . can't wait for more!
| MikeKent chapter 9 . 1/12/2013
"Are you an angel?"
Best four-word question ever. Now I can't wait for her answer. I'm not sure she even knows.
I love the crossed connection between Akira and Rose. "It's just one night." Love it.
Oh, and Rose's reaction to learning that Zane sleeps in the buff. Priceless.
| MikeKent chapter 8 . 1/8/2013
Nat sees it as Colin dumping her, but I bet Colin sees it as him saving her from the pain of losing him had they continued their relationship.
What a wonder setup of the romantic conflict.
And we have a little girl, abused and on the run, who's a healer (and obviously, she knows she is). I'll bet she's on the run from someone who wants to exploit her talent. Tassamara is a perfect refuge for her.
| MikeKent chapter 4 . 1/8/2013
I had a little problem with this:
Sweat on the back of his neck was rapidly cooling and he didn't feel well, sort of fuzzy and shaky, but the stabbing misery was gone, leaving the dull grinding pain of his previous indigestion.
You're writing in a very relaxed, informal style (which I love, had to sneak a parenthetical in here), so I first read the word 'well' in that light, as though you had put a comma in front of it, turning 'well' from a synonym of 'healthy' into a sort of a pause. That had the effect of reversing the truth-sense of the sentence, which didn't make sense as I read further. I actually had to stop and re-read the sentence to figure our your meaning.
So you might consider replacing the word 'well' with 'right' in this case.
This is missing an 'is':
The sheriff rubbed a hand over his chin. "Yeah, this not good timing," he muttered.
I absolutely loved this description:
Rose dimpled at him.