Reviews for Cliché
truephan chapter 11 . 7/8/2012
You do a very good job capturing the emotions of the characters in this scenario and all of the chapters so far. However, it is still hard to follow at times who was saying what, and who was responding to whom and what! But good job overall! Until next time! truephan
dragonian master chapter 10 . 7/8/2012
" we are not lovebirds!"
that was circling my mind since i read the chapter. all i can say is
"suuuuurrreee not dating. yet" *gets pelted by tomatoes then you chase me with the FACS*
JJsMommy29 chapter 10 . 7/8/2012
wondering if he likes her as much as she like him? you did great on this chapter by the way so keep up the amazing work and update soon
truephan chapter 9 . 7/7/2012
OLN: Great idea for a tease: to say your boyfriend is a fictional character. Hmmm, I wonder if Thor or Spider Man are taken yet? LOL! JK! Love this chapter, of course, because it has to do with DP! Good job! t.
truephan chapter 8 . 7/7/2012
Yeah, OLN, great advice-if you have the control not to let that happen. But, alas, usually you don't have that luxury of having your teachers to assign you to actual scientific students during science! LOL. Good job. t.
truephan chapter 7 . 7/7/2012
OLN: I think Melody is brave for being a secret admirer. I could never do that. Hope she succeeds. t.
truephan chapter 6 . 7/7/2012
OLN: Aww, everyone doodles and everyone doodles about their love interest. Nice thing to point out in real-to-life events. t.
truephan chapter 5 . 7/7/2012
OLN: You're doing a good job with the 'slice of life' description. But don't forget that when a character speaks anew, you're supposed to have a new paragraph. In this instance:

"Do you mind if I switched your shuttle bus?" she asked quickly to Ryan. He shrugged.

"Sure, I don't mind." Melody smiled and shivered slightly.

I was confused who said, "Sure, I don't mind." here. I assume it was Ryan but that is why we put the next dialogue of a character in a new paragraph.

This is just technical stuff, of course, but the story is good nevertheless.
truephan chapter 3 . 7/7/2012
Yay, OLN, you mentioned Danny Phantom! You know I would pick up on that right away! Ahem, back to the story. You're doing a good job at describing what is happening. It DOES feel real-to-life! Kudos! tays. t.
truephan chapter 2 . 7/7/2012
OLN: I like the set-up of this story being flashbacks. We all do that, I think, when we recall past memories-we might go 'in and out' of reality all the while. Good job.
truephan chapter 1 . 7/7/2012
Heya, OLN and surprise! I was hoping to get the time to review this story. Nice prologue-both angsty and nostalgic.
Guest chapter 1 . 7/6/2012
cool ... lol
Gabby726 chapter 9 . 7/6/2012
I absolutely luved the last 2 chapters! I thought the whole Danny Fenton thing was pretty hilarious! Great job :)
JJsMommy29 chapter 9 . 7/6/2012
can't wait to see what happens next
Nami98 chapter 8 . 7/5/2012
DAMN. he said Nah Dx
LOL, yeah well, cute as always, hope ya update soon! :)
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