|Reviews for Call Boy|
| close enough to speak chapter 6 . 8/29/2012
So I like the idea that Kyler has been waiting so to speak for two years for Dexter but find it a little unbelievable. Kyler is some big hotshot why does he have to wait a whole 2 years to hire Dexter? Looking forward to the next update!
| close enough to speak chapter 3 . 8/29/2012
I like hearing Dexter's perspective, it's a great way to see how attractive Dexter is
| close enough to speak chapter 1 . 8/29/2012
Very interesting start, I especially love the line "But I don't do real love, and I don't fuck - not anymore."
| monarchos chapter 6 . 8/24/2012
This really is a very good chapter. I like the way it opens. I'll make a few suggestions, but they are very minor.
1) With a few weeks between each chapter, I am getting the names confused - Dexter vs. Kyler. The "-er" ending of both names makes them sound similar. It didn't help that Kyler's first thoughts were like those an escort. I reread from the beginning the story & it makes more sense.
2) This sentence is awkward: "It's approximate, of course, and she graces the door with style only expected of a woman hoping for an entrance." I don't believe you need the word 'only'. If you have a good adjective to describe 'entrance', you could use it there, as well (ex. melodramatic or theatrical) - because (I'm sure) all of the guests hoped for an entrance - even the timid ones.
3) "waste of time" is used in both paragraphs 3 & 4 to describe Eleanor - a little repetitive.
That's all I got - it looks good.
| No name chapter 6 . 8/23/2012
Keep up the good work
| RinaJewelz chapter 6 . 8/20/2012
Their first meeting :) whoopwhoop nice interlude
| Tra-vation chapter 6 . 8/20/2012
This story is gah! I love it. It's so cute. It's a love that's developed over time. Me gusta!
| peopleinducenausea chapter 6 . 8/19/2012
Ok, so I like the characters the most. The plot, I'm suspecting, will get really heated and tangled very quickly. I like that you're pacing the flow of the story with interludes and deeper insight into their thoughts. So far, the characters are consistent and the plot is promising. I'll be watching this one, for sure, mainly because it is so well-written.
| Starlette420 chapter 6 . 8/19/2012
me! you owe me a reply! lol. no im just playing. I'd rather you spend your time writing more for this amazing story. :D
This was an interesting chapter. We see where Kyler first saw Dexter. So romantic in a way. As romantic as one of the two being a call boy can be. I truely hope they fall in love and live happily ever after. So make it happen yeah? lol. At least in the end.
anyways love this, keep up the awesomeness
| Mcgde chapter 6 . 8/19/2012
I really love this chapter! It makes it a lot easier to understand and gives me some insight on what's going on in Kyler's head. I don't know if I really understand fully, but I still love this story and will follow it to the end!
| js chapter 6 . 8/19/2012
It's nice to learn a little more about their past...I appreciated the chapter. :) Also, no need for a reply if you'd rather not. I never know what to write in a review other than to acknowledge the fact that I'm reading the story and I like what I'm reading thus far. :)
| Aletiah chapter 6 . 8/19/2012
This chapter explains a lot! So he had seen Dexter before! But I guess Dexter doesn't remember him.
And you're right, people can change a lot during the years, and sometimes not even because of long time either. Look at Dexter, it only took a night for him to change, because of what happened to him :( And I think Kyler has more reasons than regular people have to change, because of what his father did to him, and then he still has to put his soul into his dad's company.
I really like that he agreed to give Dexter the job even though he had given up on him and changed that much. I think some of his old self is in there, somewhere. Maybe Dexter is the one that will help him find himself again?
| Rogue Energizer Bunny chapter 6 . 8/19/2012
[There's a fine line between sexual harassment and fucking someone with your eyes after promptly undressing them in your head. I spend my first night of freedom from sleeping with clients mind-fucking the hell out of the man hanging off the arm of our newest client.] I think both of these sentences are overly complicated. Grammatically, I don't think there are any commas missing, but they seem a little rushed. I'd omit "after promptly undressing them in your head" in the first one, and maybe alter the second one for more clarity.
[WIthin ten,] typo.
I like how Kyler is completely unipressed with Eleanor. He's such a control freak that he'd probably hate her, just for messing up the order of stuff. He doesn't seem like the type of person who arrives late, so I can't imagine him liking that, and then with the mess she's causing... she's gotta be the total representation of everything that drives him insane. XD love the characterization.
[she has knocked over one waiter and felt up another after only fifteen minutes.] BAWHAHA. Grope the waiters. Loool.
[In the world of fags, he's an arguable ten: dark hair styled to perfection, a generous mouth with a smile that spreads across his face like warm honey, and a hot little ass that I'm now convinced would look great bent over the bathroom counter of this ridiculously ostentatious hotel we've rented out.] I think there's so extra words in this sentence that make it overly complicated. I'd break it off after the "warm honey" part and start a new sentence with "I'm convinced that hot little ass would look great bent over the bathroom counter of this ridiculous hotel". I've seen this a couple times in this chapter - it doesn't seem as polished as your other ones. Were you under a time crunch? ;)
I'm assuming the little guy's Dexter? He sounds sooo cute. OMG
Yep. I want to hug him.
Even though the writing isn't as good in this chapter, I think it fits in great with the plot. I really love how this chapter could stand on its own as a oneshot, but still fits in with the rest of the story. It's completely necessary, too, to establish Kyler's feelings for Dex. I can totally see him having a little crush on him. It gives more depth to the potential relationship, too, if Kyler knew him before the rape happened. This chapter fits in beautifully.
Definitely looking forward to more!
| S.H. Marr chapter 6 . 8/19/2012
I think it's kind of sad that you felt that you had to explain that Kyler was different than the present in both a summary at the end and in the author's note But I'm not sure if I'm sad for your readers or your confidence in your writing.
Anyway, it's nice to finally see the reason here, as you know I've been interested. It feels a little weird that he kind of forgot about Dexter in the time period, though. I'd kind of think someone in that position would go, "God, I was stupid and drunk at the time, don't worry about it anymore." But maybe he wanted to help him through the rape?
We shall see, I suppose.
| monarchos chapter 5 . 8/14/2012
This chapter is good. The ending is great, the hook for the beginning is not quite as good. I think I would prefer more tension between Kyler and Dexter. Kyler seems for too nice.
I had trouble working through the flashback. I think the problem was with the mention of "Ali" - I've read through it several times, before understood "The shirt Ali splurged on ..." Splurged sounds like a euphemism in that context.
A couple of grammar mistakes (I'm really surprised.) "I'd never had to fear my clients before, so I hadn't questioned it." I'm not very good at perfect tenses, but that seems like an extra "had" (with the "I'd")
"Why else would be be locked in a multiple stall bathroom?" - two be's or not two be's (couldn't resist)
I love the conversation with Trevor - it sounds very real. One suggestion, when Dexter replies with "settle down with," it sounds like it should read just "settle down."