|Reviews for I Can Change The Tense|
| rust phoenix chapter 1 . 9/10/2012
Thank you so much for your review, I really appreciate the thoughtful feedback!
I enjoyed this poem, and admire your ability to write in such varied styles in your different pieces. The tone of this piece is really strong, as are your images. The first three lines of the second stanza are especially interesting, with the double meanings of "patient" and "doctored". Well done.
| LM4E chapter 1 . 6/30/2012
Every time I read over this the vision changes. EVERY TIME! it's pretty fascinating. first the title: I'm thinking you mean by changing the tense that it can be present-tense or past-tense. And once I realized what the title meant (or what it means to me) the poem could mean anything from "before, now or later"...which may or may not make sense to you the way I'm explaining it haha. Basically the angles this poem has is mind-bending haha and it's got me reading it more than a few times over. Great job :)
"the patient walk, up those stairs" I love how you say "those stairs" where it pins them to a future event or memory, something to run over and over again in the narrator's mind before getting to the point
oh btw, to illustrate how i interpreted the poem, the last four lines especially gave that past/present effect on me: "Until the door latched/Moments before you said/You can kiss me now/Streak of tears"-was the door locked before or after the kiss? does the door have to be locked in order for there to be a kiss, or does it matter...? tears from joy or loss? It's almost like you can rearrange the lines and it could mean anything, but at the same time maintain that 'dream-ending' vibe:
"Streak of tears, moments before you said you can kiss me now, until the door latched"
"You can kiss me now, moments before you said-until the door latched, streak of tears"
"Streak of tears, until the door latched, moments before you said you can kiss me now"
I don't know if you intended this but it was really interesting and I enjoyed it a lot :) bottom line: great poem!