Reviews for Fears
dark-fire-rebel chapter 1 . 9/24/2012
Wow! That was really good! I loved the darkness behind the piece. These lines stood out to me the most:
"So they claw at my skin
and tear at my flesh
and shred my spirit
and wound the depths
of my soul."
I feel that they are very powerful, they are so well written, and I love the parallelism in those lines. Overall, very good work! Loved it! Keep up the good job!
blueagle246 chapter 1 . 9/21/2012
Very good poem! I really like the descriptions of this poem, it really help set the emotion. I didn't really like the flow, or rather lack of. Some of the words just didn't fit together making the poem kind of stutter along.
ChaiBrad chapter 1 . 8/14/2012
Wow! It's hard to say which of your poems I've read so far is my favorite but this one is definitely up there. Love the period before the "Alone"; it gives great emphasis. You have great word choice like "saturate" and have good personifications. Excellent. My favorite line would have to be the one saying no blood because of no heart, it's really dark.
The Autumn Queen chapter 1 . 7/17/2012
I like the narrative read of this poem, because it really imparts a personal tone on the images and themes, really brings out that feeling of exhaustive fear, of lethargy...

I think you can work on the flow of this poem a little though. To me, you're overusing your fullstops and that makes it rather jarring. On top of that, some of the commas are a little diminishing. Eg. [And I feel my mind bleeding,/from the insanity.] - why need it there? [No point in trying to run,/they like the chase.] - I think a dash would work better there. A little more dramatic element.

The other thing I found was, while heavy with emotion, this seemed to lack rather on the "fear" quality. This, to me, was rather the exhaustion after getting to the point where fear was no longer fear, and yet the actual /text/ of that last bit rebukes that. Just my personal view though, as apparently not everyone agrees.

Ohana
Natari Mirumura chapter 1 . 7/12/2012
Beautiful. Very beautiful. I think most can relate to this, as I feel I do. Amazing job, keep it up :D
The Moon Howls At The Wolf chapter 1 . 7/7/2012
Wow, deep rooted and detrimental fears is not what I thought I was getting myself into but I feel that is ow I left. I love the ending bit about scars, because truly isnt that all any of us have to show at the end of our battles, the marks that they have left upon us. I would work a little bit on the flow, or sement the sections more clearly because there are a couple of sections where one idea sprouts a new subject, but I cant see how you made the leap.
Anyway, Keep Writing!
Eirien chapter 1 . 7/2/2012
Powerful imagery, you really grab the reader's attention and sympathy/ empathy. Much of this is rather familiar to me, it's like looking at a younger self. You describe these attacks of fear really well. Allow me to say a few things I have learned meanwhile, though, to encourage you or anyone else knowing such fears. They cannot really reach the "depths of your soul" even if it feels like that because God protects our core. They do not "leave you alone" because Jesus knows fear intimately (think of Gethsemane!) and goes with you through every fear, strengthening and upholding you and sharing the very fears you feel - He took them all upon Himself back there in that garden. And they do not only leave you "scarred", but also stronger, because you have survived them, and every attack of the enemy trains us, "all things work together for the good of those who love God". Meanwhile, when fears attack me, I try to bring them to Jesus and give them to him, or at least share them with him, aware of the fact that He vanquished them and is stronger than every fear. ("In this world you will have trouble, but be encouraged, I have overcome the world.") It's not easy and I don't manage it every time, but fear only really has a hold on us as long as we think we have to face it on our own. All this of course is not to diminish the impact of your poem. ;-) xo
a-creative-name chapter 1 . 7/2/2012
Wow... that had so much feeling and emotion I actually teared up... great job!