Reviews for At The Funeral
LuckycoolHawk9 chapter 1 . 12/12/2012
I liked the way you used figurative language because it brought more life to the piece and shows how life moves on even after death. I disliked how detailed it is because it gives no indication you are a funreal, it seems to take note of the little things that seemed irrevalent, it felt kind of robotic to me. A decent poem.
Dreamers-Requiem chapter 1 . 7/4/2012
I feel this is one of those poems that takes a couple of readings to really get - and for that, it works well. I like the terms used, and I think it makes it, at first, seem more complicated than it actually is. Reading it again, it becomes easier to picture the funeral itself, and I get the impression that it's about a man who had a strong impact on the person's life. Really good stuff.
The Autumn Queen chapter 1 . 7/3/2012
I really like how you've balanced imagery and technical/scientific language. Neither of those is quite overdone, and while the technicalities take away in terms of subtle imagery, it assists the firm image portrayed, the image of "him" and "you", the latter defined only by the image. And while the ideas you've portrayed by using that scientific language is quite deep, I don't think the words themselves are so strange in non-scientific circles. Perhaps "wave" could be understood in a different manner...although neurons are electrochemical, not electromagnetic. Did you mean neutrons?

On the other hand, I didn't much like the picture you painted of "him". It's a little too ambiguous, particularly since there's more direct/upfront and less subtlety associated with the images portrayed. It seems to me that instead of portraying an idea, you're portraying/painting an image. The "you" comes out particularly well, but the "he"...who is he? Some parts suggest he's a sort of victim (typically the first stanza). But the second contradicts that, suggesting he's somewhat like Newton or Gibbs that made a ground-breaking discovery. And add that to the title, is "he" dead or alive? The heat suggests he's alive, but that could also portray memories, particularly since photons follow, painting an image as opposed to a form. Although, that might have been your intention...but if it was, it may have been a little overly distracting.
Guest chapter 1 . 7/2/2012
Pretty cool.