|Reviews for Souls of the Damned|
| Solomon Sia chapter 1 . 7/3/2012
It's interesting that 'commoners' are the initial focus of this story, and it starts out with something as mundane as poultry thieving. It doesn't disappoint, using it as a device to to segue to more dramatic introductions.
I'm interested in knowing more about these commoners and what role they have to play in this society. Most 'commoners' would not meddle in the affairs of their nation, what is special about them? They are too resourceful to be without some sort of backstory.
I like the time limit that has been implemented for this story. At the same time, I'm surprised that breaking into the fortress of Cenarar is easier than stealing a key/ picking a criminal's lock.
The scenes were as a whole well done and graphic, this first chapter has done much to advance the plot and paint a working image of the world.
'picking up a piece of hay from the ground and chewing on it'
"Hand me the rusted cleaver!"
Some minor fixes:
some past perfect tense should be used,
economically and militarily,
it seems unlikely that the grandson of a lord would steal chickens, perhaps there will be more elaboration later? Even if plague occurred, money would tide the ruling party, at least, over, since it was the strongest militarily and economically.