|Reviews for Zero Hour|
| Brainyuck chapter 7 . 7/7/2013
Wow, incredible. Simply incredible.
I feel like I have to stop after each chapter and read it again, just so I can begin to grasp all the effort and hard work you must have put into this beautiful story.
The way you introduce each character seperately and still keep the relationships between them so natural and yet so special, it's just amazing. I also love how convincing every single character is, how you always have them do and say exactly what is needed to line out their personality while still keeping up that unexpected, surprising facet which makes the story so worth reading.
What impressed me the most, though, are the dialogues, especially the ones between Lyra and Orion. They're just flat out brilliant, really, just brilliant.
I wish I knew you guys in person. I really do.
| Anneka chapter 24 . 7/7/2013
Wow. So I did feel a little like not much happened in this chapter, only a little plot, but I had a ball reading it all the same. I felt kind of bad for Toby with his sketchbook being nicked :( I would be so cross if someone took my personal things. but on the other hand he DRAWS LYRA *shipshipship*.
Um so Mason? He's a cutie, but Minx is my top ship. Deal with it. I just want them to be happy and get married... sob
train of thought:
omg okay that prank made me laugh :)
TOBY DRAWS LYRA my heart is complete omg
Toby is such a cutie though aw
The trivia night was so much fun. Loved the whole scene.
Jinx hugged Mina *squee*
I just want Minx to happen cry
Wow okay what happened at the end there? Mina speaking gibberish? conFUSED?
| Orion Ehra chapter 25 . 7/5/2013
Well, seeing how no-one has voted (not even the authors, whom I was counting on), I shall remain Orion Ehra. Although I would still like to know Mason's surname. And upon though, I've realised it's probably better anyway, as I remembered some physical characteristics as well, like a scar under the chin and ... That's all I can think of, but there's probably more. Onto the review.
How old are these people again? And no matter how old they are, why the hell would Mina watch the whole thing?! Seriously, stopping would have been better for everyone (no scared minds).
I see now, he creates physical manifestations instead of making people see things. (Jinx)
So people are setting Orion and Ally up? If you did that to me, I would feel several emotions. Surprise (what the hell is happening), confusion (why do you do this), annoyance (you can guess why), impressed (not sure of emotion and because I wouldn't have thought it possible), tiredness (just a usual thing, nothing to do with the topic), panic (if you've met me or read my reviews you'll know) and probably a few other things. In hindsight I have no idea why I did this, but I'll leave it in anyway.
Good chapter, and please never again include that sort of thing again. Jocks and hoes. THINK OF THE CHILDREN. THE HORRRROOOR! It's bad enough this corruption of the gene pool happens in the real world, now it's seeping into fantasy as well.
I realise some of my prior reviews probably say something similar of me, but although I'm insane, I at least am rather intellectual, and mature, which hopefully count for something. Also, I'm too socially awkward to get in a relationship anyway, so we'll never have to find out.
| Hungergamezluver chapter 23 . 7/4/2013
I loved chapter 23 so much I had to read it again. 'I think I've found your boyfriend!'
Ally turned to look at him, peering across the ice, 'What boyfriend?'
One of my favourite lines in this chapter but there are many favourites. I forgot to mention a few things in my last review Mina being half Japanese was a shocker pretty cool though loved it when Jinx said but shes blonde and Lyra replied with a that's racist, gold right there. I live in Australia but I don't like vegimite weird because as a child I use to enjoy, proud of Ally having that vegimite haha I think that's all for now keep updating :D
| Hungergamezluver chapter 25 . 7/3/2013
When I said them two to date I ment Orion and Ally not Orion and Lyra that would be weird since she's adopted by Riley. Keep updating :D
| Hungergamezluver chapter 25 . 7/3/2013
Now this chapter was dramatic even more than the last one. I really hope Toby finally comes to his senses I don't want the same thing to happen to Toby and Lyra like last time they were beginning to get along but it did show maybe a spark for Lyra it's like she is going to have a crush on him so which one shall it be Tora, Lyby or another. I really hope Lyra doesn't think of herself as a third wheel Orion and her still have there special bond and like me I went them two to date but only time can tell that. It was really sad hearing about Seb's story just as sad as hearing about Orion's mum. I hope Mina feels better and Jinx doesn't annoy her. Great chapter keep on updating :D
| Hungergamezluver chapter 24 . 7/3/2013
Such a dramatic chapter I like it. I really hope Mina is not using Mason and Jinx is getting on my nerves aswell I'm so excited for te ball part. CHOCOLATE, LOLLIES YUM! That was a good part to read about the trivia but my favourite was when Orion saw Tobys drawing of Lyra and she saw it aswell so sweet. Keep updating :D by the way sorry it took me a while to read the chapters I had my laptop and iPod taken banned from me a bit. I have got one more chapter to read :D
| Hungergamezluver chapter 23 . 7/3/2013
Chapter 23 was the best chapter ever! I was fan-girling the whole time. So cute when Orion asked Ally to the ball, I know how Ally feels having to wait until 18 to date it doesn't bother me though I'm cool with it I so hope there is more of Allion. Toby and Lyra was just woah I can't believe she kissed him twice and he kissed back, which sounds better Tora or Lyby or do you have a better one. I prefer Mason over Jinx Mason and Mina make a cute couple and they both start with M they are the M couple, okay that joke was a bad one I admit it. Seb and Mellisa are sooo cute I want to read more of that. Last but not least Jinx is a Jerk why would he do that to Mina. Keep updating awesome chapter by the way and thanks for updating forbidden year :D
| TheLastFullMeasure chapter 24 . 6/29/2013
Hey, fantastic story. I read the first 20 chapters in one sitting! Very unique characters, and my only criticism is that the plot seems to be moving pretty slow. Other than that i thoroughly enjoy this story. Kudos to you.
| Orion Ehra chapter 24 . 6/29/2013
From what I've seen, it confuses one reader. Also, there may be a slight problem, as Little Bit Loopy will be unable to see the responses for a while yet.
I was bored, what can I tell you. Also, the results are in and ... only one other person reads the reviews. Well, at least I'm not the only one. Know that I see no point in naming names, as the other person will already know they read the reviews, and noone else will notice ... except you guys.
What is wrong with Vegemite? I see no problem with a measly spoonful. Also the wall sitting. The rest I can understand.
As for the intangibility, I will accept it as being particles moving through other particles (as in through the gaps), and those left when he becomes tangible again being forced away in that instant as to not have that occur, until told otherwise.
Also, boredom strikes again. I like this Mason guy, he seems similar to me, but Orion is still similar. I'm putting it to a vote, as to whether I shall continue to name myself Orion Ehra, or change to Mason. Also, if you could remind me of his last name (or tell me, as I'm not sure if it has been mentioned, and I can't be bothered to check) that would be great.
| mandelbrot2 chapter 23 . 6/25/2013
Great chapter as always. The game was a great way to build your charectors. Please update soon!
| Little Bit Loopy chapter 17 . 6/25/2013
Okay, seeing as I’m writing this straight after the other, I don’t need a big intro, onto the characters!
Ally: “Pull up a patch of grass, and join our little imaginary picnic!” OR “Where's the sick bay?” You finally reinvested in Ally which I’ve been bugging you about for many reviews, and gave her a proper lengthy section to enforce the full extent of her amazing and bubbly personality. I love her to bits, and I really hope she doesn’t get sidelined again, I would not be happy if that happened and you might face the wrath of “Angry Loopy.”
Jinx: “Hey sir, enjoy the show?” A nice little Jinx section, it’s funny to see the difference between usual Jinx and as Lyra calls him ‘wizard charming’ he’s so ridiculously polite and he’s hilarious just because you know how much of a bastard he’s going to turn into later.
Lyra: “Of course you're not, you're like a boomerang, you throw it away, you think you've finally gotten rid of it till it flies back and smacks you in the face.” Lyra is the queen of one liners, she’s always got the most amusing things to spit out, the fact that she knows Vivian, the school nurse so well, was actually hilarious. It says a lot about what goes on at Hillsdale. But then again “You do realise this truce only lasts for about fifteen more seconds,” was an amazing Tora line!
Mina: “Scarlett counts as a swear word, it really does.” It was a brilliant line for Mina, simply because you really see her full, honest opinion of Scarlett. It was great to see her and Ally bonding, and to see how she feels about things starting to fall apart for her.
Orion: “You enjoy the conversations really,” Orion was great as always, and thankfully he didn’t steal the spotlight away from the other characters too much this chapter, which is really been the only problem I’ve had with him (or Lyra) so far. And I couldn’t help but love his refusal for medical attention.
Toby: 'You'll be comatose or dead if Lyra gets her hands on you, move it now”. Toby laying aside his pride to give Orion a break from Lucas, and him being nice to Lyra, like I said, he’s probably one of the most obviously developing characters you’ve got.
Riley: “You know full well the only person whose files I lose are the Generals.” I just love Riley, he’s the perfect concerned father with enough personality to make him interesting every time you read about him.
Seb: “What were you even thinking Seb? What would anyone want with a loser like you?” Seb practically breaks my heart ever section focused on him, he’s such a sweetheart, how could anyone not love him? And its clear Melissa likes him, why can’t they just be married already!?
I still want to read more! Onto the next chapter! Stay strong Loopy you can make it! I WANT TO READ WHATEVER YOU HAVE ALREADY! Be quiet Angry Loopy, bad, bad, bad!
-Little Bit Loopy-
| Little Bit Loopy chapter 16 . 6/25/2013
*Jaws music starts playing*
*more organ music*
*band starts to get louder and louder*
*Enthusiasm rises and the music gets deadly fast*
Guess whose back?
*music cuts off suddenly*
I worked on that entrance for like five minutes, you gotta give me props for that. Yes indeed I am back, due to reasons of international security I am unable to tell you why I was absent, all I can say was it involved a volcano, rubber gloves and a pineapple. So allow me to continue along my tirade of reviews, dedicated to the epicenes which you have brought me.
Ally: “Are you serious? Arachnids in general are evil... especially spiders... I don’t like spiders.”It was priceless, never realised Ally was an arachnophobia but just the way she said it was just so purely Ally I couldn’t help but love every second of it. But I still couldn’t help but love her when she didn’t seem to entirely know why Mina was freaking out over Jinx which leads me to my next part of the review.
Jinx: “What's the matter with you blondie? Never seen a guy like this before?” I have no other response for this other than classic Jinx; he probably timed the thing perfectly specifically to set Mina off. And may I just say that his entrance in general was flawless?
Lyra: “Oh of course she has, what you don't seem to realise is that her mind is currently going off like a broken record, saying the word "abs" over and over again so fast that it's starting to sound like "sabassa," isn't that right Mina?” or “I love them, it's nature's way of saying "screw you, I'm going to combine lobsters, spiders, wasps and nightmares," it's amazing!” You honestly can’t ask me to choose between those two lines. I just love how the moment Toby’s trying not to insult her, she does all that she can to test how long it’ll last, but then again it was really nice to see how sensitive Lyra can be when she chooses when she lets Orion not talk about his mother.
Mina: “Jinx isn't my boyfriend, he's a complete ass.” I just chose this line simply because of the hypocrisy and irony, as Mina is soon ogling at him and is probably in love with him yet again in about two seconds. But the fact is, Mina was probably the most heavily involved character this chapter even if she didn’t get too many lines herself that weren’t interrupted, you’ve clearly demonstrated that you know when a character not speaking is more effective than if they spoke up.
Orion: “Lucas, let me tell you something. I am a very logical person and yet I fail to see a single scrap of logic in anything you have just said.” This was a perfect line, and even though it was really a chapter of the brilliance of Orion, his reaction to Lucas insulting his mother, was probably both the most heartbreaking, satisfying and hilarious moments in fiction history. In one punch he stole the entire chapter, but his talk with his dad was so amazing as well.
Toby: “I know you think that you can get every little thing your heart desires, that's how you've been raised. But the thing is, I was raised the exact same way, but unlike you, I don't feel the need to pick people apart unless someone I care about is threatened. This means unlike you, I'm standing in your way for more than my own ego. You mess with Mina, you're going to find yourself in a very uncomfortable position, and you know it. Don't you dare mess with my best friend Scarlett.” He’s really shown some serious development already, probably more than the other characters, but it was very clear right here how much of a good person he could be, I couldn’t select one line that just captured my love of Toby, so it had to be this one, he’s just amazing!
Seb: “I still can't believe you punched him. I never thought you of all people-“ see the key reason for me selecting this line comes in the form of one thing, IT WAS HIS ONLY LINE! Where’s my Sebby!? Have you forgotten about him, does he exist? PUT MORE SEB IN!
And introducing Loopy’s new segment Riley: “'Have you…blown up the school science labs again? Failed one of your maths exams? Broken into an ice-cream factory?” Let me just say, for someone who I didn’t realise was going to be a main character, he gets more lines than Seb, Ally and Jinx put together this chapter. But I love Riley to bits and hope he keeps making regular appearances.
So I have made a promise, that now that I’ve returned, I must review all the remaining chapters before I am allowed to read your new additions that you’ve added in my absence, and its killing me already to not know, so I must go to reviewing the next chapter!
-Little Bit Loopy-
| Anneka chapter 23 . 6/23/2013
| Anneka chapter 23 . 6/23/2013
So, on this holiday, I have found the wifi and of course I put it to good use... reading and reviewing this.
I hate you guys so much omg my heart is bleeding ;-;
train of thought:
OMG my heart is imploding is Jinx being nice to Mina? Minx *shipshipship*
Seb… you know how much I love this kid. This is making me sad :(
Jinx… you should just kiss her already omg cry
'You know how it is with people with heightened egos, they rarely know they have one,' ahahhaaa yes am I the exception here..? ;)
'Orion isn't my boyfriend,' but he SHOULD BE please just ask her out already Orion
ohhhh no Orion :( I love you don't die cry this is a very emotional chapter, are you trying to hurt me? :)
I really just want Toby and Lyra to get married omg
and Seb and Melissa.. cutie pies. and Orion and Ally - please just go out already.
This is such a shippy chapter omg my heart is dying
OH MY GOODNESS he asked her to the ball Orion you are my favourite his speech is making me go squeee (I can't think of another word to use here omg it is literally just squeeeee)
okay so Mason is a sweetie but I am a Minx girl all the way cry
omg omg omg
omg I'm hyperventilating
Toby and Lyra have kissed/?
how do you
why do you do this to me
I'm dying omg
he kisseD HER BACK
oh my and Seb and Melissa cry I ship it
you guys... I don't know how you get me so invested in this... but tears EVERYWHERE omg