|Reviews for my sanity|
| The Autumn Queen chapter 1 . 9/30/2012
I like the concept of sanity being related to ignorance because it gives a nice comparison between the real and the fantastical world. Clever allusion there; I've never thought about it and this kind of stuff is always fascinating for me.
What I don't like is the capitalisation of this. To me, it doesn't make sense why you would start capitalising lines halfway through, and why capitalise "Inner" as if implying a sense of sanity while the rest of your poem contradicts that. Structure wise, I think it would do better with all lower case (you could even use lowercase i in this case because it shows a breakup of that sanity) and perhaps fragmenting the actual words a little, eg. either having it run in a sort of nonsensical way or breaking it up by using dashes etc.
| ohsocyanide chapter 1 . 8/18/2012
Most of what you write is rather dark emotionally. I can really relate to this, since I used to write some really dark stuff. I also like the style you write your poetry in. It looks good.
| this wild abyss chapter 1 . 8/9/2012
Overall, I think this is a good poem, though angst-filled poetry isn't a particular favorite of mine, as it's hard to be original with it. So on that topic, I can't particularly say that your subject was fresh or new in any way, though I do think it was well expressed. I'm not sure about your capitalization, personally, as it's very erratic and doesn't seem to have a rhyme or reason to it. For instance, what's so special about "inner" in the second line that requires capitalization? There doesn't seem to be a reason for it to be emphasized in that manner.
| Deranged Dairy Products chapter 1 . 8/8/2012
The second last line was a little clunky, but I really enjoyed the final one. I think you could easily come up with some more unique imagery, because fragmented souls and broken minds are a little clichéd in poetry. Think about what physical things could be representative of these feelings, so the reader can envision exactly the type of emotion you're wanting to convey.
Good for such a short space.
| DefineBeauty chapter 1 . 7/18/2012
I LOVE the rhyming in this piece! Not because you rhymed per se, but because of the words and the feelings from those rhymes! The words that you matched together give the piece a cold, dark, shivery feel and the rhymes flow so well together!
However, the longer sentences make the piece a bit clunky and mess up the flow of the piece, so I didn't like that too much. Maybe try making those sentences shorter, but with the same meaning and feeling.
| Meadow Frost chapter 1 . 7/15/2012
I loved how it was put together, very good job there. And I think it's short but has a lot of emotion with it. I loved it.
| Natari Mirumura chapter 1 . 7/12/2012
So beautiful. This poem is done extremaly well, and portray a way of meaning that is signifanct. Outstanding job, keep it up :D
| YuePantera chapter 1 . 7/6/2012
This has a great rhyming scheme. I almost read it as a song, though that might be wrong, of course. The words chosen really fit and I think the length helped with the meaning. Good work. X