|Reviews for Dew and Leaf|
| lianoid chapter 1 . 7/17/2012
You know, I love the brevity of this. It's simply, evokes some solid images, and is entirely understated. I don't know what else to say other than I quite enjoyed reading it and was surprised by how much I did since it's so short. Lovely piece.
| The Autumn Queen chapter 1 . 7/14/2012
Yay, a poem to keep mine company! I know this has nothing to do with me, but it makes me really happy. And my poem too. It was lonely for a few days.
Now, back to your poem.
I like how you've called moonlight a shard because it's showing its size in comparison to the sun, hope and light in comparison to the darkness, that kind of thing. It really is a beautiful image.
I don't like the psuedo-rhyme between leaf and grief because it seems like a forced attempt to impart a sense of structure upon the poem. It's too stiff; not really flowing with the words.
I also don't like the length of this because that last image isn't adequately explored. I would have seen some more of that - perhaps dancing to the music? Some more images? You had a good premise, but you cut it off prematurely.
Best of luck in the WCC.
Ohana from the Review Marathon (link in profile)