|Reviews for Self Proclaimed Messiah|
| Nicholas Scott chapter 8 . 1/21/2013
This was... I'm almost speechless at the beauty of it. When I started reading it, It was really difficult...not the writing, but the story, the topic, the pain, the heartache, the sadness that it evoked in me. That any parent could treat their child like that...it's an ugly truth, that you captured so vividly. The balm of the story of course was this slowly blossoming love that Carlton and Bo had for each other, the tenderness, covered under a stoic facade that slowly reveals itself with a kiss and then another and finally their revealing to each other that they loved one another. This story is so very poetic and touching, your characters so lovingly drawn, their interaction, a quiet very personal dance... really it was quite beautiful.
| Demon.beneath.the.yaoi2 chapter 8 . 9/7/2012
I luv u I luv it I luv u I luv it, this is beautiful so very very good and interesting
| Demon.beneath.the.yaoi2 chapter 5 . 9/7/2012
Omg, I almost cried during this chapter. This story is very good I cant wait to finish reading.
| JHeartbreak chapter 8 . 8/28/2012
Good story! Yes, I was worried you might have trouble finishing it gracefully, just because you run into that sometimes... but this is really good.
I haven't got any deep thoughts today. That's it. Thanks for writing it.
| arashi-chan12 chapter 8 . 8/26/2012
Dirty librarian, haha xD I gotta say, I'm not much for those more down to earth/hurt comfort stories (I'm more of a dreamer type) but this one was pretty darn good. Keep up the good work!
| tanikins chapter 7 . 8/20/2012
The atmosphere created by your writing is really fantastic, but I can't help but feel a little jipped. I feel as though a ton of drama and story is missing between Carlton choosing to come to Bo, and Bo thinking about Carlton. I understand that you might just be a "read in-between the lines" styled author, and that's just fine, But if you ever come back to this project again maybe you'd consider expanding on the lines in between?
| JHeartbreak chapter 7 . 8/18/2012
This is great! Excellent! The perfect continuation of things.
I think your art relies a lot on archetypal situations... what would this story be without the sense of a rift created and then breached? It makes me think of countless mythic stories, like Achilles rejoining the Greek army. I think in all of your best stories you seek out these mythic moments clothed in the dirt and blood of a modern life.
Anyways, it makes me very happy and I am looking forward to the next two bits.
| Bedlam Chaos chapter 7 . 8/18/2012
I like the fact that they perceived themselves differently than the other does. It's like that in real life and too often people forget it when writing.
| JHeartbreak chapter 6 . 8/12/2012
This is good! Obviously, but still. I feel like if they had just got together and that was that it would have been a less powerful story, because they have to process so much still. And this chapter I think was the processing... Finding out what matters to them.
If it had ended with them getting together in Carlton's room after his recovery, I can see it now, it would have been like "And the world was big and scary, but maybe, just maybe, they'll make it through." Which would have been, like, okay, I guess we couldn't hope for better. But this way, by processing the trauma of their lives, and what they meant to each other, briefly, once, I feel like the ultimate get-together will be more powerful and more inevitable. Instead of feeling like, it could have gone either way, we can feel that this is the way it was meant to be, and anything else would be an evasion.
Also, it's weird to have things set down in a real place; Nebraska. In my head all your stories take place in Americaville, this vaguely impoverished land that stretches from anywhere to everywhere. Nothing wrong with how it did pan out, but I'm just saying because it was unexpected.
| Bedlam Chaos chapter 6 . 8/11/2012
Early enough :-D Go Carl ! :-D
| Skyless11 chapter 6 . 8/11/2012
Meeeeeeh You ended the chapter in its best momentttt QQ J'veux moreeeeee!
Now. I noticed these two characters to appear in Wyatt o.o wonder what do they have to do with eachother? Guess I'll wait and see
And Carl is finally standing up for himsellffff!WOOOTT!
Nice chapter :D too short though (les QQs)
| JHeartbreak chapter 5 . 8/7/2012
Where has your life gone! I am afraid you aren't challenging yourself enough as a writer. You have a deep well of talents that I think has gotten as much as it can out of slash on FP. I'm not telling you to get out of here, but I'm wondering, have you been reading many literary books? Collections of short stories? If you try to understand these scintillating classics, it'll push you to do better, that's what I think.
Here are some books that I think will challenge you to write better: (and by better, I mean more subtly, more perceptively, more aesthetically, etc): The short stories of Alice Munro, Katherine Anne Porter, and Eudora Welty. Munro is a Canadian, and the other two are from the American south. They all have a perciptivity in human affairs that reminds me of you at your best. If you can get your hands on Munro's story "The Chaddelys and the Flemings" from "The Moons of Jupiter", that would be wonderful. All three writers should be at your local library.
Anything by Faulkner, and anything by Toni Morrison. They have a lot in common, I think. Faulkner is not so fashionable now, I suppose, but I think he could teach you a lot.
The novels of Thomas Hardy. "Far from the Madding Crowd" is a good place for you to start. His poetry is good too but I suspect it will be of less use to you.
These are just beginnings. I know this is incredibly presumptuous of me, but I genuinely feel you have the talent to go all the way to the top. I actually stay up at night worrying about you. (I have an anxiety disorder, so it's not the most outlandish thing.) It would just kill me to see so much potential (and realized potential) languishing in the muskeg of FP, because as nice as FP is, it doesn't pay, it doesn't recognize success, it doesn't remember, and it probably won't last.
Okay. On to the chapter itself.
I like this a lot. We're getting to the fever pitch. I still feel like you could have dug more into their psychology, but you definitely deliver on the things you promised. Carlton, I feel like he really comes out here. I feel like I get him in a way I didn't before. I think I already said that, but even more so now. And Bo, I feel like the trauma is catching up with him, just like I always wanted.
I like the subtle relation between Kelly and Bo in this chapter. I feel like it might come up importantly in the end. Because Bo writ off Kelly earlier as a lost cause, and in a way that convinced me that that was that, but then things were different, and we see that Kelly cares in some ways. It makes me happy, and it makes me excited to see how things go. Cause really, I wouldn't put suicide past either Bo or Carlton.
| Bedlam Chaos chapter 5 . 8/7/2012
Your writing is good, like always. I feel for Bo. He's like the though guy who will not break under adversity but might because of the people he loves the most, insidiously.
And talking about age :-). My birthday is in January, we're half way through the year and I still cannot realize I'm 25. So it's like... WTF! Hanging out with people usually 2-3 years younger than me doesn't help. Especially when they consider 30 something people old and I realize I'm not far from it. Or when I consider that being middle-aged is not 30 but 45 or something. Well... That was me ranting about my age :-)
Thank you for the (re-)writing. I'm in awe in front of people like you. I just wrote a 60p thesis and I'm exhausted after it. I cannot imagine writing so often and so much like you do (and with quality).
| sapere chapter 5 . 8/6/2012
| Skyless11 chapter 5 . 8/6/2012
Beautiful. beautiful as always.
Weird, huh? Calling such an angsty piece "beautiful"...
But yes it is. Very beautiful.
Keep it going! And happy 26th anniversary!