Reviews for Unmagical Bystander
Daniel Kozaki chapter 6 . 9/9
Good chapter opening. *w*b

Doubt getting at Yuko... now that took a dark turn suddenly.

As tsundere as she is, hey, Misery loves company.

And so our MC got the wrong end of the stick and ended up with the bad guys. Johnny, why you discontinue this? xD
Daniel Kozaki chapter 5 . 9/9
Monster fight! Serious monster fight yay!
Magical girl used 'random'! It wasn't very effective!
Doubt, the Shadow. Hey Doubt, you know Darkness? She's an old friend!
"But can you even handle that? Emotionally I mean," - whoa, this guy is a troll. xD Doubt indeed, well played.
If Doubt plays Kyubey, Madoka Magica would probably end a few episodes earlier.

Fun chapter. One of your best so far, it brings to mind your Tourney pieces. Good luck, John! *w*b
Daniel Kozaki chapter 4 . 9/1
Together with an unconscious girl in a barrier. Good job. -w-b

The power of loli compels you!

Eh, a serious enemy? The plot is moving? The plot is advancing! Yay! xD
Daniel Kozaki chapter 3 . 9/1
"Blast it." I muttered. I struck a nerve, my own nerve. ..In my own inner monologue. How is that even possible? - loooool

Hell yeah meteor! Cause nothing says your mortal insecurities are nothing than a raging flaming meteor from the sky falling between you and your crush! And he did say 'Blast it!', btw, so hey, wish granted. xD

You know, as much as it still has a great amount of instability, the expresive nature of the prose has its own charms. One can definitely say it's passionate.
Daniel Kozaki chapter 2 . 9/1
Of course, effeminate MC. What else?

Nice voice. As annoying as it might get sometimes, I like the narration, even with the way it fusses over little things. Not to touch on punctuation, though.

Daichi Yoichi. Devin Kevin. Subbed vs dubbed, much? :p

Suddenly. Japanese.

Huh, sudden switch from 1st POV to 3rd?

Hm... this has a ranty feeling to it.

Um... why would you need italics if you're back to 1st POV?

But then, your writing always goes melty-melty in terms of form, so... um.
Daniel Kozaki chapter 1 . 9/1
Oho. Your longest work... *w*

Magical girl. Of course. Your theme. Now for her to be a trap and an overreactor.

Oh, right, forgot tsundere.

Anyway, I like serious Johnny writing. ub I mean, for a start, it's a nice, refreshing hook as opposed to your usual, surreal topsy-turvy wacky pieces.
Lolitroy chapter 6 . 9/11/2014
All hail Britannia!
Miles Montgomery chapter 6 . 12/8/2013
Sorry about taking so long to review this last chapter.
Nice chapter. What's up with Misery and Doubt?
Can't wait for the next chapter.
KaiserSchwarz chapter 4 . 12/31/2012
Oh my gosh! This poor guy. xD Hm, the introduction of the magical girls was interesting. The spell names are proper and very magical-girl sounding, which is a huge plus. Sometimes people tend to over do it, but these are juuuuust right for starting spells. Nice work.
KaiserSchwarz chapter 3 . 12/31/2012
Well, that was interesting. With this poor guy's luck, their names would mean death.
KaiserSchwarz chapter 2 . 12/31/2012
Dude, shifting point of views is awesome! Anyway, I almost laughed uncontrollably with the whole parody fight scene. The Kamehameha bit got me. xD DBZ was a very fond memory for me as a child, so to see someone referencing it just makes my day!

I will continue on, if anything to see how this poor guy deals with the magical girls. Nice set up so far. It's got my interest now.

You seem to have a good grasp of fantasy from what I'm reading. If possible, could you read and review my story, "Synchronizer?"
KaiserSchwarz chapter 1 . 12/31/2012
Well, that was an interesting opening. Still, I don't know enough yet to make any clear conclusions so I'm gonna read a little more and get back to you on that. Good opening chapter though with the exception of the four dots at the end of the last line of the chapter. That's a tad unusual, but it doesn't detract much from the opening's value.
TheGoldChain chapter 1 . 10/30/2012
Wow this is certainly interesting! Keith seems to have some sort of social problems. And not problems but like actual mental problems?! What am I saying?! Sorry it's my first review! /
GeckoGecko554 chapter 2 . 10/27/2012
Let me see...
Interesting characters: Check
Nice buildup to magic: Check
Hilarious author: Check
*Favorites Story*
Katsurou Shimizu chapter 5 . 10/23/2012
Hmm, so this was the last chapter before you started on a hiatus. You have a couple of potentially interesting characters there, such as the girl in the meteor, and the snarky Doubt (which I like, I have a soft spot for snarky characters). Not so much for Kevin or Devin though atm, whose purpose in the plot thus far seem to only act as comedic relief. Initially when I read chapter 2, I thought perhaps that Keith was going to become a magical girl with his remark (that he looked like a girl when he was tired) ala Kore wa Zombie desu ka, but so far I'm not too sure where this is going. But this could potentially be a plot point you might want to try out.
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