Reviews for The McCallisters: Sea Spray: July 2009
Dreamers-Requiem chapter 1 . 7/22/2012
Like some of your other stuff I've read, I did feel this was a bit rushed. You've written some interesting characters, but they're introduced too quickly for the reader to really get to know them. It means that, for me anyway, there was no connection with the characters. Watch out for the grammar, too; [me to surf," a smile accompanied the spark in his eye.] Should be a full-stop at the end of the dialogue and uppercase 'A' before smile, as it's not a speech tag. Some nice descriptions used throughout, but I would strongly suggest expanding on the characters, take the time to introduce them and it would be a really engaging piece. Good luck!