|Reviews for R Rated Princess|
| Moon Prynces chapter 1 . 10/13/2013
Oh my god. Wow. This story deserves more recognition! It was amazing and hilarious and so much fun to read!
First off, it was truly an original take on a fairytale most of us know quite well. Technically, the actual story is pretty explicit as well, but not as fun. I loved the way you handled it all. The background story about a cabbage was hilarious and strange and unexpected, but I love that you came up with something. The talking squirrel was also nicely done and actually helped move things along. I guess you realized she needed some company in the tower, but also it helps us as the readers to get explanations without her just thinking it all in her head or talking out loud to herself for no reason. You did a good job of covering a lot of questions one might have. I guess I didn't really think about how she must eat or anything, but I wasn't too focused on all that. Like you said, it's a fairytale and stuff.
Rapunzal's characterization was so...modern, I guess is the word I'm looking for. She was so feisty and tough and just seemed like a regular teenage girl – you know, despite the story and her circumstances. The dialogue with cursing and insults was actually pretty smoothly done and didn't feel weird at all to me. I guess that's partly because of my own life and I'm not an easily offended person. Her interaction with Giggles the squirrel wasn't mushy or sweet or supposed to be cute and endearing. It was all just realism with their irritation with each other and justified attitudes given the situation.
For a while there I thought we wouldn't even need a prince to end things off. Prince Charming was kind of pathetic and a little over-the-top in his ridiculous-ness. And it kind of felt good that maybe she wouldn't need a guy to end this fairytale. But then when you mentioned that thing about rather kissing the dragon it was a bit obvious what turn this would take. I guess the main question I have about the sudden appearance of good-looking Prince Silas is how long he was under the spell himself. Are him and Rapunzal in the same age box, seeing as she's only eighteen? I wish we got to know his character a bit more, though it seems he's not immune to certain things. Your lines with "as he sucked in a breath" and "felt his heartbeat speed up" were hot and adorable all at once.
The story had so much happen in such a short amount of time (and in less than four thousand words too!). And I loved every line and thought and just that you really took this idea of "R Rated Princess" to heart. You didn't go too far into the extreme, so it felt just right.
I also did love your description of the dragon. It was one of my favorite paragraphs to read. You didn't overdo it or go into too much detail, but at the same time, as I was reading it, the picture slowly began to form in my mind of this creature.
I do have some criticisms that I think would help polish up the story a bit. There were a lot of cases where the ellipses were off, because you only had two dots instead of the necessary three. There were other punctuation errors here and there like, "Giggles' tail" or missed the word "the" in a sentence when she talked of the ceiling being destroyed. Also, some dialogue punctuation was missed. One case was: ["A little late dumbass." Giggles said.] It should be: ["A little late, dumbass," Giggles said.] I think the errors were minor stuff that you could just correct yourself with a quick read through, or have a beta or friend do so for you. And maybe rereading and editing the story would help you weed out any unnecessary lines, fix up whatever you think you should and possibly get you to add a little more here and there.
That was truly fun and entertaining and I think I may have to check out more of your stories in the future. Thanks for the read!
| urtenshii chapter 1 . 9/1/2012
Whoah! This was a really fun and random story! Details aside, I really enjoyed reading through it. It was cute, very-well made and quite hilarious.
Though, of course, you just don't fall in love with someone you meet just recently. But then again, that's just how fairytales work.
Anyway, I guess I am compelled to tell you that I liked this version of Rapunzel better! Haha. Oh and the squirrel? Such a funny guy.
Good job on this and keep on writing! :))
| Midnight Jewel chapter 1 . 7/18/2012
Giggles is AWSOME!I LOVE HIM,and the dragon prince doesn't fall that far behind)
| love971 chapter 1 . 7/15/2012
Awwww for me! Thank you so much! Wow I really loved this one and somehow i just knew that that dragon would turn into that gorgeous hunk of a man!
Ahhhh I. WANT. MORE!
Please keep up the amazing work with the cliché's !
| Carmel March chapter 1 . 7/14/2012
Cute, cute, cute! Loved this :)
| Molkchan chapter 1 . 7/14/2012
NOOOOO! Poor Giggles! Why must you kick him around so much? I loved this one-shot, just like every other one. :D
| maddy111296 chapter 1 . 7/14/2012
nicely done! really enjoyed that short story! really like all the characters and the princess was pretty badass , i would like to see your hand at something like sleeping beauty or snowwhite . kep up the good work and i will keep reading.
-a happy reader.