Reviews for Flames for the Taking
Charlotte Phanrose chapter 1 . 5/21
I've actually yet to have receive a flame (not here, not on FanFiction, not anywhere where I've posted stories). Though, after stating that, I wonder how many flamers are going to come running just to change that? *shrug* I haven't been afraid of a flame since I was ten (and, yes, I'm still talking about those less-than-helpful comments that haters leave), and I'm still not. Why should I be? I'm confident in my work, in my abilities. I'm not going to let anyone knock that down or take that from me.

To other authors, I say this: grow up. I'm sorry, that was cold, but I mean it. Many of you are aspiring to get your work published? Trust me, especially if you're planning on publishing to Amazon, I suggest you get used to reading flames. They happen, but don't let them get to you. Those "reviews" are only trying to rain on your parade. Don't let them do that; be proud of yourself—you deserve that.

Returning to this essay, it's best not to acknowledge the flame. They're without point, without reason. They don't help you grow as an author, so why give them the satisfaction of their words reaching you?

I stand by the phrase I said when I first started uploading fanfiction: "Flames will be used to heat my PopTarts and only that." I was nine at the time, so it may not make much sense, but the point still sticks with me today: flames should not be taken seriously, nor should a less-than-adequate review, but the latter is a conversation for another time.
K. A. Oceana chapter 1 . 3/12/2013
Good essay, not Ross. I found it very informative. I have been revenge-flamed twice on FanFiction. There were so many curse words that it was crazy. Also, now that you mention it, begging for nice reviews can be annoying. Begging for no flames will, unfortunately, not give you a force field against them. Sadly.

Great essay, anyway. Thanks for writing this!

Krystal Oceana
NadeshikoLove1224 chapter 1 . 1/11/2013
I agree with what you said. On FFN, I have been giving my criticism without actually telling them how to improve sometimes so now I make sure that I give pros, cons and improvement. I don't think that all the people that forget/neglect telling people how to improve are flamers. The review that you displayed is a flame in every right because not only they didn't tell you the reason for their dislike, but they degrade and insult the author.
elilover2 chapter 1 . 8/13/2012
As someome who has gotten a flame (and someone who's no novice to fanfiction and other such sites) I am greatly pleased with this. It's hilarious without being too much so, and brings up several good points (the best being that flamers are rather dull). This was flippant and bold and all the better because of it. Very nice!
CalliScribbles chapter 1 . 8/6/2012
Oh, wow. Is it bad that I snickered at that flame because of shock? I've never seen anyone offer an apology to a louse before.

Essays belong in the humor category (of essays, not the rest of the site) only if you intended them to be funny in some way, not because there's really no good label for them besides general.

Yeah, I also don't generally leave reviews if I feel like people are going to burst into tears the moment I leave something more specific than "You have very original ideas, but your word choice confuses me," because babysitting is not my job here.

Alternative (my fluffy rose-colored glasses) version? People either blow off steam because they are that disgusted by your story (though they don't have the intelligence to just close the window or do something more constructive, like pointing out why bits sucked) and don't really think of other people on the internet as real people. Or they really want to help and haven't been taught to critique properly, so a lot of the "flames" that are more of awkward criticism are people just listing things that annoyed them and yelling for somebody to fix it.
caapt.donavin chapter 1 . 7/15/2012
I totally agree with you. I mean even though I'venever flamed, been flamed or begged for no flames. Infact your essay has helped me. You see I only had aslight clue on what a flame was before i read this and now i have a larger peice of the picture. Thank you.

And just so you know I am one of those crazy nice people who review everything and pick out the peices they think stand out. I also would have vouched for a flamer if i had ever been flamed, but i haven't so they are currently still in my bad books.

I think that it was cool that you acctually had the example of a flame, a brutal flame, but a flame noe the less. it gaveme a picture of how cruel the human race can really be.

Donnie