|Reviews for Insomnia|
| lookingwest chapter 1 . 7/21/2012
from The Roadhouse
I desperately want to avoid the void... [I really like this line, as it felt quite poetic and had a good rhythm to it.]
While the first paragraph in this gives me a dark, more sinister feeling, the second comes off as comfortable and well, cute - since it gives the image of the cocoon of fluffy sheets and everything. I feel a bit undecided on whether or not the switch in tone is a good or bad thing, but it definitely changed the atmosphere of the piece.
I thought the third paragraph was quite relatable, I think it's something that most human beings experience. While they might not have insomnia, they do experience these sorts of restless nights, and I can especially relate to this during the school year. The ending gave off a more depressive tone, but I like how bold the last sentence is because it captures the flavor of those last few paragraphs. Overall an interesting musing on restless nights!
| Love A Mysterious Thing chapter 1 . 7/16/2012
Totally my life right now. i can relate to this WELL. And that is... kind of depressing actually. But this is awesome! I love the way you've written it and the vivid way you describe everything. However I feel like in the line "dreaded call of nighttime- signifying the end of the day-" The signifying the end of the day in this seemed to over explain what night is. It seemed forcefully placed in this. Maybe something more poetic could make it better or just take it out completely. That's the only thing critiquing wise i have to say about this but other than that, it was fabulous! Great write!