|Reviews for War Comes on Ravens Wings|
| jesusfreak100percent chapter 1 . 4/9/2013
This is really good.
I don't know if you know about all the misspellings or not, but they add a nice touch. Whether it was accidental or planned, it looks cool.
The poem itself is also well-written. Great metaphor, and it's subtle enough that it's very enjoyable. :)
| The Autumn Queen chapter 3 . 8/25/2012
I love your first two lines because it talks about life/death (which you could probably tell from my collection is a bit of a favourite topic with me) as well as the concept/misconception of courage and the hype of war. We did a poem on that once in year 9, and those first two lines reminds me of that
[ask "Why"] - you should probably have a question mark there for emphasis, to show it's a question.
I like the image of the tree here, as it reminds me again of a few things. The tree of Denether (or however you spell it), the White Tree of Gondor, the Party Tree...they're a good symbol. Oh, and the Sakura in CLAMP. Can't forget that. But yeah, tree's a good image. On the other hand, I'm afraid I don't get that sentence.
[there ] - wrong one. In this context, it's spelt "their".
| The Autumn Queen chapter 1 . 8/25/2012
Surreal doesn't have an 'i' in it. And ravens should have an apostrophe. raven's if one, ravens' if plural.
Horse on wings huh. Nice imagery. I like it especially because it reminds me of myths like Pegasus and things like unicorns, fantastical creatures that are usually representative of hope and power, and you've tainted the image by starting off with negative connotations and following through with it.
You really need to be careful of your spelling/grammar though. [eagel ] should be eagle, [survaying ] should be surveying, [jelousy] should be jealousy. [dark ravens wings] - sounds better as "dark raven wings". I think Deamons is old spelling, so that's all right. [Light finds away] - finds? Do you mean flies? That would make more sense in context. SOme of your pauses seem odd as well.
[And with her dark ravens wings she'll fly into the sky,
To smell the stench of death and watch the bullets fly.] - you don't need the comma there.
[Her eagel eyes survaying all
Her mane flickering with sparks of hate and jelousy.] - do need the comma between the two lines.
But yeah, I didn't like those little errors (the spelling, as the punctuation can be a personal preference) because it really distracts from the actual poem. I had to reread it a few times before I pierced it together.
| Anaxeco chapter 1 . 8/21/2012
I really like how metaphorical it is. Gives me a mental image of darkness and destruction.
| tide of the ocean chapter 2 . 7/29/2012
amazing and so true
| Natari Mirumura chapter 1 . 7/17/2012
This poem is beautiful. Well done and carries meaning. Amazing job, keep it up :D
| TheIngrid chapter 1 . 7/17/2012
wow! Really really nice. Its got a very good flow and quite an original idea!