I look forward to your next chapter. I personally prefer longer chapters with less frequent updates.
Overall, I really enjoyed the 1st chapter but I skimmed through this one - I'm not a huge fan of teasing in the 1st chapter and then going going back to 'two weeks earlier' but I'll go with it. Good luck with your next chapter.

Good chapter, although you got Mandy's and Sam's names mixed up a couple of times. Hope part two comes quickly.

Welcome back. I am very curious about James and his group of friends and how much does Mandy know about them? I would prefer longer chapters then you could make it more detailed instead of shorter chapters which would have unanswered questions and such. Keep up the good work!

update, Update, UPDATE! PLEASE3

Since this is just the first chapter I can't tell you what you need to work on until you write more. But I expect that you will provide us with a chapter of what she was up to before her kidnapping. I believe that you should continue because just from reading the first chapter I was hooked. I didn't notice any mistakes. I love the format it makes reading easy. So keep up the good work.

I'm really bad at looking at faults in stories...I kinda just read your story for the plot and stuff... And I think your story has loads of potential :D so I hope you do end up adding more, because when you do it will be awesome!

KEEP GOING! Its great! Cant wait for what happens next! :)

Well there's only one thing I want from you: to update! Please!

Love the story so far, i think it just needs to be longer. :P :D

Don't give up!
This seems really interesting, just do your best and even if you don't like it at first it will get better as you progress c:

The summary was interesting and I had to take a look, so props to you for that! I have a few comments about the story, though.

First is that it's a bit lacking in detail. Yes, the characters have general descriptions, but there's more to people than their hair color, their eye color, or their height. The little things make up their personalities clearer and more unique, and readers do tend to notice that.

Another is that the direction the story seems to be going in a direction that promotes Mary Sues. I'm waiting for a little more personality from him and from your lead female, but considering that this is just the first chapter, it's still passable, but you have to build on their characterizations from here. (though it is ideal that it's seen in the first chapter)

Buuuut, in general, good work for a first story. I hope you don't get discouraged by criticisms, because they do help writers get better! :)

Definitely keep going. The first chapter did seem a little rough but that just my opinion.

I think you should continue this story.

cont i would LOVE to read it :)

More? It's kid of hard to tell with only 1 chapter so far, but it did seem interesting...