Reviews for Wish Fulfillment Fantasy
the old contemptible chapter 1 . 9/3/2012
While the majority of this is quite amusing, written in an over-the-top, self-aware style, some parts are written seriously, which is certainly interesting. The writing tends to get a bit stilted, as well.

One can certainly tell it was written in a sort of bittersweet mood, and it seems rather more personal (and less Leacock-ish, which is too bad) than "Shining Maximilian".

Before I knew there were good slash authors out there, I read a helluva lotta wish-fulfillment stories, so I don't really view them as sympathetically as you seem to. My thought is, if it's so personal (and the stories are usually pretty damn bad) why post it online, where all can see it? Makes no sense to me.
Honunjama chapter 1 . 7/26/2012
You know, I think you achieved what you set out to do with this. It is shallow in the sense that it's surface story that doesn't go deep into the character's psyche, but yet as it is wish fulfilment it is saying something deep about what you want. And I can feel that this seems to be a sort of love/hate thing with you...I'm finding it hard to articulate why...

Hugs as always

Suki (watching the smoke from a forest fire cloud the sun! It's hot here!)
PenguinHearts chapter 1 . 7/20/2012
Look, I love the concept that you got here. But, the story seemed too rushed and unrealistic. What I recommend is making the story longer, because one chapter is far too short for this plot. Also, think about what the characters would say in real life. The dialogue and some of the text seems slightly awkward. I'm so sorry! I feel awful for saying this! Keep writing :D

P.S.: *Hug* !
GreenGrass1 chapter 1 . 7/20/2012
I'm glad that your...er, I mean Zach's wish has been fulfilled.

Delightful little story.
tleiaxu chapter 1 . 7/20/2012
Hahaha oh boy... Goofball.

I laughed out lout about 10 times. "I was inspired by the birds." Lol.

Feeling poor and downtrodden, wanting to be rescued, or at least recognized... I understand how these feelings can ignite the desire to write a story like this. Of course, you took that desire and twisted it around a bit :) Thank you for not taking yourself too seriously. Although, I do sincerely hope things start looking up for you soon. You are a brilliant and generous person, and imho you deserve some good karma.
PalindromeIsntOne chapter 1 . 7/20/2012
Hug definitely returned.

I wasn’t going to review this for certain reasons (unrelated to the story itself…I will explain why in the end of this review) but I’ve decided to, actually prompted by seeing your first review. (I check reviews of something I think of reviewing to see if they’ve covered anything I was going to say/validate my own shaky self-doubt of if I had anything valid to say…anyway) And I find that I understood the review but it didn’t have enough detail or sympathy for my liking. So I made myself overcome my insecurities and now I’m reviewing.

Yeah, wish fulfilment fantasies are not a bad thing, as you say. Many writers do start that way. Actually, many writers go on that way. What you were writing here I think was not meant to strike out against wish fulfilment writing itself, but just bad writing. Shallow unexplored characters, choppy plot development, lack of real life relatibility, blatant misuse of characters to turn the story in a certain desired direction. (Ok Word is not accepting ‘relatibility’ – it’s my conjugation here of ‘to relate to’) Shallow characters may appear that way because they are indeed just thin masks of the author – but it is the shallowness that is annoying, not the fact it’s a mask) I think that’s why this one-shot could be more successful, because what you are actually attacking does not initially appear what you had set out to attack as your title. You know this, I believe, and it shows in your final paragraphs.

Also one of the problems with this fic is actually rather funny in itself: it’s almost too well written.

Before I go on, things I liked (as in found amusing) about this fic:
‘His smile melts ice and breaks hearts. His hair is made of gold and the tears of virgins. His soul is made of the reincarnated souls of a firefighter, a selfless healer, and a magnificent poet.’
Gerald – Zach (sorta funny)
"Row row row your boat…"
The bird thing.

Okay, this is where it gets a bit more difficult for me to review. I’m not sure how to put this, so please forgive me if I’m off a little. With my ‘it’s almost too well written’ comment. As in, if you were really going to go to town on a parody like this you would also need spelling and grammar mistakes, even less emotional development of characters than you have, hilariously bad similes, over dramatic character names (though Winter did well, you could have had a worse one for the protagonist)… Because you’re mocking bad writing, not wish-fulfilment, as I said earlier.

Also, the fact that you tell us readers what you are veiling at the start in your wish fulfilment gives it, throughout the fic, to me, almost an edge of bitterness, and underlying sadness and self-mocking rather than writing-mocking. This is probably me projecting my own feelings all over this place. I worried this would happen – hence one reason why I held off reviewing. But I think I need to say this. In a way in this fic you do kind of mock wish fulfilment via bad writing as well as just bad writing, and that is actually…okay, I’m just going to say it….hurtful. No offense meant, I know you would not intend to hurt anyone, I know what you meant by this story. This is just how I feel.

And this brings me to the most awkward and hardest part of this review for me, but I want to be completely honest with you. I actually cried after reading this story. Not because of the story itself (put that in bold), but the thought process and feelings it prompted afterwards. This part of the review applies only to me. I personally, actually find it a lot, lot harder to write anything vaguely close to me, or something I personally relate to as a wish-fulfilment of myself, rather than to write abstract characters interacting. (Also, side note, I’m not sure how many authors that do this realise they do this, every authors goal is to create real characters – I would feel I had failed if they were so obviously shadows of myself, and yet, is that a bad thing? Is a shadow less real or meaningful just for being a shadow?) However inevitably some of those ‘abstract characters’ have pieces of grounding in myself, and are therefore possibly falling under the description of ‘thinly veiled version of myself’. I don’t want characters to be like me at all, that they might show something of myself was a thought that used to upset me in a way, one of the things I struggle with about writing, so that I might probably have done this, what you parody here, hurts. ‘Sentimentality’ would actually fall under the heading of thinly veiled wish fulfilment writing, you know. And it hurt me that it was that close to me AND not written as well as I would like, double evil. It was hard for me to admit that parallel to you and my admission of that is still a regretted impulse, and I still won’t say exactly where the parallel lies. So perhaps it is my own fault if any of this parody affects me negatively, yet I still feel that side of the attack is unfair.

So I know what you mean to do here really is attack bad writing. So I guess…just make it more clear that that is what you are attacking? To repeat: I did know what you meant to parody and say. If I can ask though, at the start of writing this, did you? I’m not trying to analyse you or be harsh. But it almost seems like there was a little war here between intention, feeling and expression, resolved at the end. This is likely me projecting myself again. I’m going to feel very self-conscious for this review later. I know at the end of the story you showed how those fics were actually the tender parts of people, and that really touched me.

All the best,
P.I.O.
cattenlent chapter 1 . 7/19/2012
aaaalright. first of all i should say that i like some of your stories, they are really good stories. I think you missed the mark a little bit with this one though. I understand that this is meant to be a parody of god-knows-how-many cliches but...parodies are supposed to be funny. This was not entertaining. Bland is not always humorous. anyway that's my two cents.