|Reviews for Jane|
| MagicWords chapter 1 . 7/20/2012
"She wished she could live among the clouds, and die among the stars." -my favorite line! So beautiful and poignant!
"She hated sun sets, she understood that beginnings were always so much better than the end." -Also truly lovely, and a sentence that sends a message.
However, your main character seems to be inching towards the end by the end of this piece. It is tragic that things like this happen to people with such beauty and passion.
And in your summary, I think you could erase the "and junk" part because it is not junk-what she feels! Plus, it almost turned me off from opening it because it was about junk. No one wants to read about junk. I'm glad I read anyways because it was not junk at all! You are a very good writer!
Maybe say: "A short story about an abused girl's suppressed feelings." or something like that.
Sorry for this obnoxiously long review. Great piece, with some great lines! :)
| Lexi.0 chapter 1 . 7/20/2012
it's very good, you should write more:)