|Reviews for Wanted|
| KatieMichelle chapter 1 . 7/28/2012
Really short chapter! Although, I suppose introductions don't necessarily have to be long, some writers just like shorter chapters.
I kinda do, too, so color me hypocritical :p
Either way, I'm really enjoying this so far. Hopefully an update will come soon?
| Anxious Axolotl chapter 1 . 7/28/2012
Your summary really caught my eye and I really liked the dialogue in Keilah's POV (Except maybe tweak the line [ I can't believe I'm stuck here all day in between 'Bad' and 'Worse'. They've been pulling my hair all day long."] so 'all day' isn't there twice).
Simon's POV felt more like a prologue than part of the chapter, because unlike Keilah's POV it had no dialogue at all and was all exposition. It sort of gave the chapter an uneven feel, maybe it could be re-written to be told partially through dialogue like Keilah's?
I was really confused by Keilah's relationship with Melissa and Angela, at first I thought Angel was her mother, and then the line [After the divorce of my parents Melissa stayed with all the kids; Dad was left with nothing.] I thought her mother was Melissa, but then then [ that is why I call her by her name instead of "mom".] proved me wrong.
Very interested to see how Simon and Keilah come together, update soon!