|Reviews for Chani|
| Darien Conners chapter 2 . 7/31/2012
O.o shit went down
| Darien Conners chapter 1 . 7/30/2012
I love the slight changes you made. Definitley added to the detail. Keep at it and see you soon. :)
| Anxious Axolotl chapter 1 . 7/30/2012
I really like the premise of this story, I thought Kieran and Chani's relationship was shown clearly and was very touching. Most of the writing flowed very well, but a few lines sort of interrupted it at points.
Like, [Our body chemistries were built for taking physical endurance.], humans are actually pretty vulnerable and not adaptable compared to reptiles or something like a salamander. If what you were meaning to imply was that humans were stronger than the Ranions, that would at the very least paint a more vivd picture about what Tyris was up against. I'm personally very curious about the Ranions, what do they look like? What kind of 'advanced' technology do they have and how does it affect combat?
Also, the lines [The war was located in three places: Ranion, Tyris (my home planet), and the space that connected us above.] sort of make it sound like battles were only fought in one specific spot in space, maybe just cutting out the [The war was located in three places] and changing it to [The war was fought on (or in)] would sound a bit more natural. I was kind of curious how people who fought with bows and arrows and swords are able to fight in space.
I actually really liked the length of this chapter, I wouldn't mind if the next one was even a bit longer! Update soon, really interested to see what's going to happen next.