|Reviews for Shattered|
| Guest chapter 11 . 7/19/2014
A good story, well-balanced, loved the emotional scenes.
| Guest chapter 11 . 7/4/2014
It was a good story.I liked it.
just one thing...Maries mom was damn cool...I mean, does this kind of mother exists? Any way..she was cool :)
| EJ Daniels chapter 11 . 3/4/2014
Not sure how I missed reading this one. Your usual wonderful work, my friend! Very realistic and heart wrenching at moments as well as tearful and heart warming as well. Exactly what I have come to expect and appreciate of your tales. Many thanks for sharing this with us!
| Na-Na-Nessa chapter 11 . 4/27/2013
I loved this :D It was funny, it was heartbreaking, it was cute... It was a great story, but I am sad that it's completed. :( I want more! Hahaha, wonderful job :D
| maxmatt chapter 11 . 4/4/2013
Dude...I LOVE THIS! It was such a cute story that left me wanting more, nice job.
| OracleToo chapter 11 . 3/31/2013
I usual, I enjoyed your story, but still like Night dreams and One Girl's better.
I noticed you published this story last quarter of 2012, but the writing somehow feels different to your other stories. It seemed more targeted for younger audiences - a bit like fragile -
Perhaps it is the bullying aspect of the stories, which happens in high school. It really is uncharted territory for me as I went to high school in South America a lifetime ago (mostly a scholarship to a private school, except for my last year), and perhaps because I was a loner, I did not experience any strange treatment. I had not come out (not that I had any idea at the time), but I kept to myself - my own choice-; I just felt different, not the gay thing, but my goals and desires where not like the others, who were into boyfriends, new cars, pools and tea parties... I Did not make many friends that way, but was not bad. I did enjoy my last year at a public school better though, where I felt I was the same as everyone else... Anyway, I digress. Thank you for continuing to write such wonderful stories.
| inwardtransience chapter 11 . 3/27/2013
Hey, it's me.
I'm not really in the mood to give a proper review at the moment, so I won't be going into the whole nine yards. Not that you really need it. The technical stuff is quite well put together, save for a few spots where the wording was a little awkward or it was unclear who was talking.
Oh, and there was one thing that /really/ bothered me. I forget in what chapter it was, but you misused the word "schizophrenic". I know it's something that people do a lot, but I have schizoaffective disorder, so I actually /am/ schizophrenic, so it bothers me. I was a little disappointed, since I figured you would have had to have done all this psychology research to get this stuff right (which was done okay), and still managed to misrepresent schizophrenia xD
I do have to say that I liked how you didn't make her OKAY ALL BETTER NOW. I don't think this was perfectly realistic the way it was done, but it's plausible. And as I said, the technical stuff was good. So bravo? I don't know what I'm saying, and I don't know if I'm being helpful/coherent/whatever. I'm in a weird mood.
I'm reserving my final judgement on your writing in general until I read that other story I'm looking at. See you soon.
| Lil' Miss Ravenclaw chapter 11 . 2/16/2013
That was really a breathtaking ride. Magical even? I don't even know the right words to describe it. Bravo to you!
| imagine.write.thrive chapter 11 . 1/28/2013
I'm in love! Again! Ahh! My god, what a roller coaster of emotions... I loved it!
| Saral Hylor chapter 3 . 12/16/2012
I cannot believe your writing, it's just "Wow!" amazing. I'm loving this story. Marie is just the sweetest narrator. Must read more!
| Hikaru Akihiro chapter 11 . 12/10/2012
I like your writing because of the way it flows. Your plots don't feel forced, and your characters have believable personalities. You definitely my favorite author Fictionpress. I hope you keep writing, and look forward to any future works.
| chapellefan chapter 11 . 11/11/2012
I think you're a terrific writer and what you've written here will touch a lot of people.
I love how you've managed to convey how tortured Renee was through Marie's eyes and how the problem never, if ever, goes away. You've showed us that problem perfectly and while a lot of other authors tackle themes this heavy, I think it is you that truly covers the gravitas and emotional weight it deserves.
I... however, have problems with the later chapters. While I think homophobia and stupid teenagers making light of a serious problem do come up in real life, they sort of feel out of place here. It feels like a PSA being crammed in the last moment. Now, I do like how you manage to reveal that it was Renee's brother's friends that ultimately were the bullies, but it feels too... I don't know how to describe it, 'clean' to have them found out and arrested. I also wish there were 'more' of a resolution with Renee's father. Not him getting out of jail but perhaps you could've revealed what happened to him by the end of the story, rather than the middle.
But, nitpicks aside, you did a great, great job here. Well done!
| Vanui chapter 11 . 11/11/2012
Wow. Just... wow.
From the summary, I can honestly say I wasn't expecting much from this story. It was a rather weak hook, but I decided that since this was completed and had reviews, it was worth checking out. I am so glad I did so.
From the moment it began, I was struck by the gravity of the situation. I was struck by the artful way you crafted the first chapter, even if it was exposition-up-the-butt. And as you continued, I was struck by how the characters developed, matured, changed and stayed true to themselves throughout. The parents were wonderful, and the logic they presented and the logic you wrote into the story through the various scenes struck me as amazing. The story was wholly realistic, but also took on a dream-like tone through the love that the two main characters shared, and I loved it. It completely broke all the cliche expectations I had come to expect from such a story.
I can't tell you happy I am that this wasn't another "men are awful therefore we like girls and the parents give crap advice for it and suddenly everyone loves gay people" kind of thing.
Thank you for writing this.
| StarScarlet76 chapter 11 . 10/21/2012
That was amzingly sweet and the two belong together. I'm glad you stopped where you did because neither girls were ready for that next step. I love Marie's mother, she was hilarious! You're writing captures their emotions so well, the pain and the love. Keep writing! :)
| breakthehabit chapter 11 . 10/16/2012
That melted my heart. I love the ending. 3