|Reviews for Circular Logic|
| Flame Within Ice chapter 1 . 8/24/2012
I like how you brought up certainty, and said that it "must exist as well", which is a statement of certainty, and that you put probability after the "if" statement. Even though it is an "if-then" format, it wouldn't make sense if you switched the words certainty and probability. It was a clever way of tying into the title of Circular Logic. I also love how you wrote such a short poem that still makes you think hard about what it is saying. My mind ended up chasing random thoughts that were gleefully slipping away down random crevasses, but that's a good thing. I enjoyed being made to think about this poem and look deeper into it, because I still have only a vague generalization of what this poem says. I haven't yet wrapped my thoughts completely around it, but they brushed up against the message and left me with a peaceful feeling.
| romaniac chapter 1 . 8/24/2012
Drives in an intresting point and that s why I personally like it though I say you sould use more words.
| thewhimsicalbard chapter 1 . 8/22/2012
[RG - Poems - Depth]
I know this scent... It smells like p-chem... It smells like Schrodinger. Schrodinger and Heisenberg.
This is a very, very short little poem, so I am going to have to play around a little bit here, but I think I can manage. I'll start with my one negative.
Form/Format: Most poems don't use the centered style anymore. While it does -look- pretty when your reader first glances at it, it's often very hard to read in that style, because it's hard for your eyes to move from line to line. Even on a poem this short, there were places that I got lost and had to stop. A sixteen-word poem doesn't have that luxury. You might want to consider left-aligning it, at least as an exercise.
Subject: Haha, yes! I love seeing science play around in the arts. This is a little mind trap, but it's an effective one. Now, unlike many of my arts-centered brethren, I have come to terms with the mystery that is Schrodinger. The idea of superposition is difficult to wrap your head around at first, but in the end it's the only thing that makes sense. I like that you leave out that information here, because it invites the reader to get trapped in your poem, forcing the reader to experience it all over again until it makes sense.
Tone: The tone was very flat, and I'm not sure what you were trying to do with that. I'll make a metaphor: it's very easy to listen to Morgan Freeman say the same thing over and over again without getting bored, because his voice is so full of inflection and feeling. However, no one wants to listen to me tell the same story fifteen times in a row, because off paper, I sound much more boring. If what you were trying to do was invite people to get trapped in your story, it's going to be hard to do that if they get bored of it before they have a full experience.
Imagery: To someone unfamiliar with science, this poem has to seem like the most plain, boring thing ever. I know better, because when I see probability and certainty right next to each other I think of Gauss's Law and the Schrodinger equation and the Heisenberg uncertainty principle, and all of the beautiful poetry of the nature of the universe that those things represent. That's the true power of word use, but there are a lot of people whose education hasn't reached that level, so that whole image will be lost on them. If that's the case, all you have left are two very plain nouns (probability and certainty) and then your next-best image is the word "exist". I'll be honest, that's not very good. Haikus have seventeen words (traditionally), and outside of the context of science, most of them are more evokative than this one.
So, overall, great poem for a scientist, but not so great for someone who hasn't taken several collegiate semesters of either chemistry or physics. Being a man of science myself, however, I thoroughly enjoyed it.
| blackflier chapter 1 . 8/19/2012
Brilliant. (Had to admit it took a few second before I goit it though. :)