|Reviews for take take take|
| Dianaartemis chapter 1 . 8/8/2012
This is a wonderful poem and you enjambment is spot on. 'the increasing weight of our/ ecological footprints like nature trying/ to fight the natural laws of gravity' is a brilliant image/idea.
In the second stanza, I feel there is a missed opportunity to connect 'balance' directly to the earth's tilt. I don't have a perfect solution. But the idea would come out something like 'and we lost the balance/ of earth tilting on its axis/ as feet so heavy threaten it'. Again, not perfect, but I do think getting rid of the questions would improve it.
And the rhyme of 'trees' to 'needs' in the last stanza is also awesome. 'murdering ancient trees' is a bit melodramatic, however. A little out of place from the language you use for the rest of the poem. Just 'destroying trees' (or something along those lines) would serve the purpose.
I'm not sure what the last two lines exactly mean, but I love it.
| classic violet chapter 1 . 8/8/2012
This is so important. Such an important message. I love it.