|Reviews for The RG Truths|
| Rogue Energizer Bunny chapter 3 . 8/14/2012
I love how you show Frac as the crazed, delusional goddess. Coz that's what she is, I mean, let's be honest here. It's fascist dictator goddess Frac.
[Glancing over her shoulder to the sun glinting through the trees, she ignored him.] When you have a participial, the closer the modifier is to the subject, the better. The trouble here is the infitive phrase within the participial, because it delays the subject, which weakens the sentence. If you want to keep the participial, I'd cut out the infinitive, so it'd be "Glancing over her shoulder, she ignored him." If you wanted to keep the infinitive, I'd change it to "Frac glanced over her shoulder to the sun glinting through the trees and ignored him." But the last one feels a little rushed, so. IDK
Ahaha she's killing Interpol. Bwahahahaaa...
I'd like more establishment of the setting early on. The description about Interpol getting killed is great, but it's hard to place it, because there isn't much about their surroundings.
| Laoch chapter 1 . 8/8/2012
[She had tried sports of all kinds only to not have the excitement she was seeking] - A rather confusing sentance. I would suggest changing 'only to not have the excitement' to 'but was unable to find the excitement...'
[She couldn't help but gap at him] - I believe you meant to say 'gape'.
[While she found most of it to give her that quickening heart rate, but it was waning, and she wanted more.] - You don't need the 'but' and it would be easier to understand if you clarified the 'it'. (The job, the killing, her life, what?)
A very amusing piece; I love the strange ideas gone into getting rid of Lyra. Now those aren't something you usually see. They make you wonder about what else someone could come up with.
[To be fair she did adopt those damned dogs.] - I absolutely loved this line.
| professional griefer chapter 1 . 8/7/2012
This is...this is perfection.
AJ, you are such a badass. I don't really have anything helpful to say (sorry), but I really do love this.
Very epic and badass and awesome and I love it and yeah.
| Rogue Energizer Bunny chapter 1 . 8/7/2012
IT'S WICK AND LYRA BWAHAHA.
Oh em gee.
I love the ending. LOL. She adopted the dogs. It really fits the randomness of the story.
The humor here's great. I love how you tie things together, with the dogs and all, and the flow makes this effective and funny.
I like how you incorporated her nickname, too, coz otherwise it wouldn't be Wick. Ahaha.
This is awesome. You included the spiders, and the clowns... everything. Oh em gee.