|Reviews for Prom Date|
| Wanderinglost chapter 1 . 12/17/2013
I'd say its good. The only thing is a few minor syntax errors, just a run on or two. This is not what I usually read so I'm not sure I'm the best to ask, but I can't find any problems.
| KamiyaAkuto chapter 1 . 12/14/2013
Hm, I must say that this is the first review I've posted on this site, so I'm not sure what I should address, but I will try my best to make this concise and helpful. First of all, you should know that I'm somewhat fond of gender-bender scenarios like this, so it was right up my alley! I did find the beginning to be a little tedious, though, to be honest. A lot of the jokes with the wizard just seemed to fall flat for me.
After that, I found that I had a much better time reading it. Your descriptions and syntax are fairly good and the flow is okay. I did find myself emphasizing with Danny towards the end (personal stuff), and the emotional response was surprisingly accurate at parts. And in the end, you had me wondering whether or not his life would ever go back to normal. Overall, I would give this story a B. You did a good job, I hope you continue writing things like this in the future!
| ThatsRight chapter 1 . 12/13/2013
I like the comedy in this, i wouldnt change anything really, its very good
| ElizebethGrace555 chapter 1 . 12/13/2013
interesting story,I hope you wont stop writing.I hope Danny could end up with Jenny
| Hellsgun SuicideScene chapter 1 . 12/11/2013
Definite like :)
| Viola Kingsley chapter 1 . 12/10/2013
Wow, I am really impressed! This was an amazing story! I really want to know if Danny ever broke the spell and got his life back, or if it was all just a dream.
This was really really good! You are very talented! Keep it up!
| Linore chapter 1 . 12/10/2013
Its a very interesting story and really goes with the theme be careful what you wish for XD. The story seemed to be well written Danny is a relatable character for we all have those types of troubles and seem to forget about the important things. But overall this story was very nice
| UniverseAnxiety chapter 1 . 12/10/2013
Overall, it's a really sweet story. I loved the character development, the description, and the fast-paced sense of the story however it felt like the ending came too soon. The plot twist was perfect. Unexpected and well-executed. It just needs a little editing and the dialogue seems a bit choppy in some parts.
| Jasmine Jacobs chapter 1 . 12/10/2013
Wow, that was waaay better than I thought it'd be. I think the story has true potential. I'm quite excited to read more of this fabulous idea!
I think you pretty much scored an accurate reaction for Danny, too.
You did an amazing job detail-wise as well.
I don't think I should be helping you. You're doing an awesome job by yourself! I think I'm that needs advice!
| nickyO chapter 1 . 12/10/2013
The twist in the story wasn't what I expected. Great job, you could expand on that twist down a number of different paths. Your character is believable and has a quality of innocence and teenage angst that pulls the reader into the story. I did notice you by-passed the traditional goodnight kiss. And the ending was a bit abrupt, but that might be because you plan to keep writing. Whether you choose to keep writing this piece or something else just keep writing as you have talent.
| SunsetSprite chapter 1 . 12/9/2013
Well, you certainly have a great story lined up here! I like the idea even though I'm not a fan of Supernatural stories.
My advise to you is to separate each speaker on a different line and make sure you don't over do it with the descriptions. Also, sometimes the descriptions dragged on which made it boring a little and a drag to read.
Still, never give up! I think this has great potential so keep trying! This is a great story that need a little tweeking.
| Secrets Of The Moonlight chapter 1 . 12/9/2013
This story seems really good so far. The concept is unique and well written. Danny seems like an interesting character and I'm interested to see what happens next.
| Pixiedragon25 chapter 1 . 12/9/2013
This story was very intriguing; I like the thought of Danny turning into Deanna because he didn't know what he was dealing with when conversing with the guy at the shop. I feel as if some smaller details could be explained more, with some more detail. I also feel that this was actually very good; it would be interesting to see what would happen next. Have you ever thought of making another chapter? Either way it was a very good chapter; I enjoyed reading it. PD25
| Kendom chapter 1 . 12/9/2013
Wow… just wow… That was a GOOD story! Not over-the-top but good when I was expecting something average. SPOILER-
I mean the whole thing was clichéd and a bit lacking on the situation response. “Yea, just blow 600 bucks out of the blue on a random MAGIC store out there in the mall.” The magic malfunction cliché… and all that. The rest was very funny, well described, the dialogue was fluid… I even liked the whole situation overall.
In my experience there isn’t a lot to complain about and it felt like it was a good use of my time. The ending was a bit WTF but I believe it is right for this story in particular. Not going to spoil more of the story for any newcomers.
What could be done better is the decision making of characters and the level of clichés that break immersion, the rest is usually fixed by getting more experience.
6/10-Not great, but it’s worth your time and can provide a good reading.
| Apple Dust chapter 1 . 9/22/2013
I thought it was very creative to have Danny transform in a girl because of a magic spell so he could have a date to prom! Although I can't relate to this story as well as others might(I don't particularly care for school events so I can't connect to Danny wanting to find a date), it still interested me. One thing that seemed off to me was the that the pricing of a love potion was too expensive but the spell that altered his life course was cheap enough for him to purchase. If you ever want to revise that part of the story, you could always say that love potions don't exist at all(I know you said that most were fairy tales) or that they have rather dreadful side effects so a spell would work better for his situation. Just something that makes it more believable but whatever you want! :)
I noticed that in the first paragraph, the different dialogues were together; each time a new person starts talking a new paragraph should be started. It seemed like you followed that rule throughout the rest of the story, so maybe it was a mistake. This story held my interest but the ending doesn't necessarily satisfy the reader's curiosity.
Don't get me wrong, I think it is a wonderful idea to leave the reader hanging and wondering what will happen next! If this were the first chapter of a book, it would fit well because then we could find out later on why Danny heard Jenny's voice(if it was past advice coming back to him or if she had something to do with the magician and the spell or whatever else it could be). I noticed; however, that the status of the story said 'complete'! If you ever think of expanding this story, I'll definitely come back to read and review more of it because I think Danny's situation is a comical one.