Reviews for Walls
ygg chapter 1 . 1/8/2013
Hauntingly beautiful with very tangible imagery. It has a very threatening undertone which is quite effectively expressed. Well written!
Abbytjie chapter 1 . 9/6/2012
I like the rhyme in this peom. It doens't seem as forced as rhyme sometimes does, but adds to the flow (which is what it should do). You describe the fear and anxiety so well, I was hanging on to every line.
AmericanBeauty-AmericanPsycho chapter 1 . 8/28/2012
I didn't like how you didn't make 'again' rhyme with just put 'spine'. Where every other line has a rhyme. It just threw me off a bit.
I did like the general idea. It's short and sweet and fairly simple - yet I understand it. It has meaning and something that everyone can relate to. Something instantly came to my mind while I was reading this. It's easy to relate to.
Natari Mirumura chapter 1 . 8/22/2012
Very very beautiful. Lovely, keep it up :D
ohsocyanide chapter 1 . 8/18/2012
There's a certain vagueness to this poem that leaves a reader enough emotional capacity to register their own sense of fear, which I find very unique with poetry. I like this a lot :)
Eirien chapter 1 . 8/15/2012
Well expressed, I think everyone can more or less relate to this, you give these feelings a voice. The rhyme adds to the effect, a short and well-written little poem.
Loraine Wentworth chapter 1 . 8/14/2012
I did feel a bit of a 'shiver' down my own spine while reading this. Although it was short I thought it was really beautiful. I like the 'claustrophobic' kind of imagery you have here- created through the mention of having to hold tight, walls closing in, and darkness. It creates a scary sense of insecurity and fear.

I also liked the idea that there is a bit of story here. I got the impression the narrator is hiding from something, or waiting in apprehension for something they are afraid of? Anyway, the language used to describe fear certainly evoked a lot of images/a story.
ChaiBrad chapter 1 . 8/14/2012
I really like this one. It really gives good imagery yet still has vagueness as to what's making them afraid. I have a guess of it being claustrophobia but I don't really know.
Johana O chapter 1 . 8/12/2012
I really like this. I can picture this as a moment of fragility after a difficult number of days, in my room alone, in the darkness. It's great.
OctoberLullabies chapter 1 . 8/12/2012
I love it! I loved your review of my poem so i thought i should come check yours out!
simpleplan13 chapter 1 . 8/11/2012
"The Walls close in around me"... I didn't get why walls was capitalized
"And I shed a silent tear."... I didn't like this line because it seemed kinda cliched
"As I sit up on the wall"... this confused me because before it was walls and now it's just one wall?
Also, I feel like there should be a period at the end.

I really like the rhyme scheme. It was subtle and didn't seem forced at all. I like the piece though. I could really picture the scene and I also really like the tone. Nice job.

PS Check out the Review Game and/or its Review Marathon (link in my profile).
pseudonymsurname chapter 1 . 8/11/2012
I liked this. It's short and... well, maybe not sweet, but effective. I went through a stage on FP writing poetry and I couldn't rhyme to save myself, so I always appreciate someone who can pull off a decent rhyming scheme as you have.

As for the poem itself, yeah, I got a sense of isolation from it and helplessness. A snap-shot into that one moment of fear when you suddenly realise you can't change something or stop something from happening. If that's kinda what you were going for, I thought it worked. It not, I still thought it worked, I just suck at deciphering poems :)

Might go read another one, seeing as this one is so short.
MotherYggdrasil chapter 1 . 8/10/2012
I love the rhyme scheme of this poem. It creates a nice flow and "bounce". Even if the poem itself isnt "bouncy" in nature it still benefits from the rhyme! I really enjoyed this :)