|Reviews for You Stole My Heart|
| Defective Riley chapter 1 . 1/22/2013
That was possibly the most twisted thing I've ever read.
Kind of cool in a way.
Probably should have read the genre first. XD Anyway cool story :)
| this wild abyss chapter 1 . 8/13/2012
I would have liked more of a balance with this piece. You have a lot of dialogue, but very little exposition or action. Because of that, these scenes didn't feel grounded and seemed to be missing part of them. I didn't know where the conversations were taking place, so it was hard to get engaged into this. I think making this longer would help in that area as well, because if it was fleshed out a bit more you might be able to put more information here.
I did like the idea behind this, because I think it's interesting and unique.
| simpleplan13 chapter 1 . 8/12/2012
I kinda wish you hadn't capitalized that last line. Because it was in caps it drew my attention and I read it before the end which kinda made it less of a surprise.
I liked the piece though. The idea is kinda twisted, but I like it.I like how seemingly normal the first half was too. Just your generic catching up blah blah until bam. My only other thing is I feel like she probably would've at least tried to call her husband while waiting or done something other than just sitting at the table.
PS Check out the Review Game and/or its Review Marathon (link in my profile). It's a great place to get reviews! (if you don't mind giving them of course)
| Mercyette chapter 1 . 8/12/2012
This is a review for the Review Game's Review Marathon. Check us out; there's a link in my profile!
Damn, I feel really sorry for her! I like the theme you have going on with these short stories. It's sure to keep the reader thinking after a while. I can't wait to read the other ones you have on here.
I would have liked to have more detail about their previous relationship and about Jay in general, considering he loved her so much he was willing to kill for her. I think if you could elaborate on that some, you could really turn this into a chilling tale.