Reviews for Piles of Ashes
LunaOculi chapter 2 . 8/16/2012
Yeah, you really need to extend your chapters a few hundred words isn't efficient, but still beautiful! Names? Woman Alexandria, Thalia, Athena, Melody, Ruby,
man Patrick, Pete, Joanes, Brodie, Jensen.
as for the house...I vote for hobbit home, they're so quaint and...cool!
Hey! Maybe they have a giant tree house in the backyard or something, just for Opal!
Cheers! Make those chapters LONGER!
Luna.
LunaOculi chapter 1 . 8/16/2012
First chapter was short but beautiful. Even here, you hold a Poetic nature in your writing, I adore it!
P.Sayb.N chapter 2 . 8/13/2012
It's only two short chapters but I'm really liking this.
Maybe the mom should be something ending in Stella sounds really nice, uh, kinda.
Undecided Citizen chapter 2 . 8/12/2012
Once again I like your style. As for the names, just name them what comes to mind (what they want to be named if you get my drift). Same for the home :). Keep it up!
Undecided Citizen chapter 1 . 8/12/2012
I enjoy the general simplicity of your writing, I find it refreshing and straight-forward (the pace moves well.) That being said I would advise that you make sure to make edits before posting (unless this is a draft), just in general. The repetition for the nightmare is good but it feels a little too repetitive at times. Dreams are fleeting so maybe a little smoother? All in all I hope you keep writing!
MoonlightInTheMist chapter 1 . 8/11/2012
This is definitely off to a great start. I love anything fantasy, so this is awesome. You have an amazing way with imagery. I see stories like it's a movie, and this one was amazing.
vitamors18 chapter 1 . 8/11/2012
Nice descriptions and liked how you opened with her past in a dream. I feel like it needs more for the first chapter though. Holding back makes the reader crave more, but be sure to fully hook them first;) I suggest building more on Opal's character. Maybe talking about these new parents or her life how it was with Mrs. Vesta. Only ideas, I know it was only the beginning so I'm looking forward to reading more, but yes it's good:)