Reviews for Patch work rose
Romeo Twist chapter 3 . 8/31/2012
This is good. Gives me the creeps on the third chapter. HAHAHAHA. COOL STORY! \M/
A-knows-all chapter 4 . 8/28/2012
its confusing to me because of the blank outs
Lia Jenson chapter 8 . 8/24/2012
Yeah, Marco is an (insert expletive). Friends with Mr. Misogynist extraordinaire, a failure as a brother. I bet he regrets his smug little comments now.
Still some mistakes:
" Stupid Bitches, can(('))t they just man up for a few seconds and kill the stupid spider by themselves" odd capitalization; run-on sentence.
'even the drill sergeant of the girl's class has an issue with you, look, she's coming this was now!"' Was? She's coming this WAY.
Well, that aside, good chapter. That coach sure knows how to break it to them gently.
Would you like a beta? Another pair of eyes helps after you've stared at the same words for a while, and since you KNOW what you meant to say, you tend skip over what mistakes you didn't.
Lia Jenson chapter 5 . 8/24/2012
Hmm, a bit the pacing is getting a bit abrupt, a little to rushed. Some can just argue it's fast-paced, but I feel like it's going too fast.
Also, a few more minor mistakes:
" Banishing that thought from my mind, I pact up my stuff like the others and headed off for the next class. " PACKED. She PACKED her stuff.
"Oh what I wouldn't give to wipe that superior grin from her mug little face" mug face? Mug is already slang for face. Like mugshot? I think you just meant SMUG though.
Lia Jenson chapter 4 . 8/24/2012
...Oh man, I just got chills. Really, true to form goosebumps. I wish you could see them.
I'll read on, as this has gotten much more interesting.
Rogue of Freedom chapter 4 . 8/14/2012
Ooh suspenciful please continue!
RazMaster chapter 2 . 8/12/2012
Lia Jenson chapter 2 . 8/12/2012
"The events all began with the comercial, or that's what people say," The second chapters story all began with a misspelled commercial, along with many other mistakes...
Okay, I'm done being mean, I think it's written very intensely besides that, the CATASTROPHE here is those misspellings that detract from it.
Fixing them would ENHANCE your story...If you would.
It's too bad, this sounds like quite the mystery.