Reviews for Home War
JHeartbreak chapter 23 . 4/27/2013
Hey, that was a fine ending. Nothing pyrotechnic but that's okay.

One thing that I thought of, but didn't mention last time, is that both of your guys seem awfully butch. I mean, there's nothing wrong with that, and it's not like I demand that your gay guys be flat stereotypes. But it makes me wonder if you've ever known gay guys, or are just basing these two off of straight guys. I'm not really against that either... this is probably why I didn't mention it the first time. But I thought it worth saying, just in case you weren't aware you were writing pretty straightish guys.

Next time, I'd like to see you pull less of your punches. The amount of suffering the characters had to undergo was pretty slim, and I think this is because you deliberately lessened the psychological consequences of these things. If your father acted like Philip did at the beginning of the story, you would have many more complex feelings than were acted out by Alexander. There would be a lot of anger that would not just go away. There would be a lot of fear and a lot of sadness.

I hope you write another slash story. Maybe this sounds shallow, but I don't "do" het romance. So if you would kindly write another slash story I would be much obliged.
XXCrazyWriter96XX chapter 23 . 4/22/2013
It's over already! I might cry! I loved it so much. Tell me if you make another one with these guys!
interestinglyenough chapter 23 . 4/21/2013
Ooh, this was so good! Oh my gosh! Perfect way to end it. Please tell me there'll be a sequel or something with Alex and Brendon. Keep up the great work on any other projects you have going on, though, and hope to see more from you in the future.
JHeartbreak chapter 22 . 4/10/2013
Yo yo yo, this is a good story. A little rough around the edges, but solid and consistent where it matters.

The characters seem really solid, firm, like you have a real grip on who they are. I question the psychology behind their actions sometimes, but I never feel like they're only figments of your imagination (which they technically are, but, you know). The plot moves along pretty well; you don't spend too long on anything boring.

I guess my main point for the good stuff is that the characters are well rendered, the situation is interesting, and you deliver on what you bring up: boyfriend/father conflict. I like it.

In terms of roughness that could be evened out, like I said, the psychology of the characters seemed a bit weird at times. Like before anything went wrong between Alex and Brenden, I really questioned why they were together. They seemed together simply to be lovey dovey. So when they got angry with each other, it felt strange too - if I don't know why they are together in the first place, then there isn't any plausible reason for them to break up either.

But then you made it believable, them getting back together, and Alex's changed relationship with his Dad was good too. And I think you had a fundamentally good thing going with the dynamic there, between the three of them.

Also, you do this thing where you tell us what the characters are saying instead of showing us, like "and then we just screamed and yelled and swore a lot." It just feels like you put that there instead of imagining what they actually said.

Anyways... I feel like this story is pretty much done now. The conflicts are all resolved and everything. I'm afraid if you go on too long you'll be tempted to just retread the same conflicts again, having things go back to where they were. You'd be better off moving on to a new story, I think.
XXCrazyWriter96XX chapter 22 . 4/9/2013
When Alex's dad started talking to Brendon I almost thought he was gonna hit him or something! Damn this story is so addicting! Love it!
interestinglyenough chapter 22 . 4/9/2013
No, just when I thought everything was peachy! I hope Alexander doesn't overreact, but knowing his personality so far, he probably will. Ugh! I'm so glad that the updates have been happening pretty quickly, so keep it up! Can't wait for the next chapter!
Starlette420 chapter 22 . 4/9/2013
I think he should let it go for now. All dads are protective...if it happens again...he should get mad.
I really do love this. I like alex's softer side. I DONT like his evil temper. Much love. More soon? :)
interestinglyenough chapter 21 . 4/7/2013
"Close your mouth, Alexander." That was too funny. I love, love, love it! It's so cute and realistic, which is quite lovely. It's so sweet, too, oh my gosh.
XXCrazyWriter96XX chapter 21 . 4/5/2013
Yay for progress!
Starlette420 chapter 21 . 4/5/2013
Looooove this. More please! :D
LiveLoveRead95 chapter 20 . 3/30/2013
This is an awesome story. I love it! Cant wait for the update :3
XXCrazyWriter96XX chapter 20 . 3/24/2013
Talk about being able to cut the tension with a butter knife. Hell! I could probably cut it with my finger! Great chapter! Loved how you did the thing with the waitress.
interestinglyenough chapter 20 . 3/24/2013
Gah, I can't stand cliffhangers! Hurry up and update; this is so good!
Winnie T chapter 1 . 3/24/2013
This is great! You might have a set career as a writer. ;)
MagnificentFern chapter 19 . 3/22/2013
Hope it will go well ! They obviously deserve to all work it out. Can't wait to see how it goes
45 | Page 1 .. Last Next »