|Reviews for Nothing Left to Say|
| Phindin chapter 1 . 8/16/2012
Nine times out of ten I would suggest axing the "And" at the beginning of the first line, but in this instance I think it works. A common problem with short poems is that they often have the pretense of containing some sort of isolated revelation or tidbit of wisdom that comes off as either too preachy or too truth-y. The "And" forges a connection to something unseen/unwritten in the poem, like there's more at play with this relationship than is being explored in the lines that follow. It makes it seem realer, whether that was your intention of not. (It's also nice because it parallels the "And" in the third line, and makes the separation of the two thoughts clearer.)
The only changes I would make to this are aesthetic. First, I would not begin every line with a capital. In fact, I would probably lose the capitalization altogether. With so few words on each line, and so few words in total, they become distracting. It makes sense from a grammatical standpoint, too, because it's all one sentence. This goes for the commas, too. The only comma that makes grammatical sense is the one after "day" in the second line. I would drop every comma in there except that one. The poem would flow better, and it would make the enjambment of line three (perhaps the best moment of the poem) about ten times more effective. "And I lost all" then becomes a powerful standalone line, and it emphasizes the impact of the loss to the reader.