Reviews for The Wolf and The Berry
Lencionim chapter 1 . 8/17/2012
This seems more like an outline than a story. That said, I think it has a lot of potential. I want to know more about the berry and, perhaps, the world itself. (This is obviously set in a fantasy land if there's a talking berry involved.) The plot and characters are interesting in themselves, but I would love to see more detail. There isn't a single bit of dialogue, for one thing, and I think it might grant some better characterization if there were some dialogue present. I also think you could draw out the actions of Hound and the Chief a bit more, too. Right now, this reads as notes for a future story. If you emerge the reader into the story, not only tell, but explain what's happening-in the moment-with sensory description, this might turn out to be something remarkable.